Using Cell Phones Comic Strips - Page 37

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

395 Results for Using Cell Phones

View 361 - 370 results for using cell phones comic strips. Discover the best "Using Cell Phones" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Slave Labor

Thank you for voting.
Elbonian Slave Labor  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #employees, #slave, #wages, #compensation, #minimum wage, #morality, #business, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Management was shocked to learn that the company we acquired had been using Elbonian slave labor. We immediately replaced them with minimum wage employees who have no hope of career advancement. Wally: You did the right thing. Boss: That's how it felt.

Unplugged Server

Thank you for voting.
Unplugged Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #server, #obliviousness, #cell phone, #phone, #charging, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The network has been down all morning, but we found the problem. Some idiot unplugged the server so he could charge his phone. So, that problem has been solved. Boss: Great. Now can you help me find my lost phone?

Call My Lost Phone

Thank you for voting.
Call My Lost Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #productivity, #unproductive, #cell phone, #ringing, #frustration, #annoy, #annoyance, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't know where I left my phone. Can you call it? Dilbert: Sure, but it will make both of us unproductive instead of just you. Narrator: And then there were three. Alice: Gaaaa!!! Where is that ringing coming from???

Need A Dopamine Hit

Thank you for voting.
Need A Dopamine Hit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #addiction, #technology, #stimulation, #dopamine, #distraction, #cell phone, #social media, #Games, #internet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My digital devices have reduced my attention span so much I can barely concentrate on work. I need a dopamine hit every four seconds or I look for something else to do. Carol: Would you mind terribly if I play with my phone while you drone on and on?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #manipulation, #fear, #tactic, #ignorance, #jargon, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I need help persuading your boss to bless my project. Should I use facts and logic? Dilbert: No, he hates that stuff. Woman: Maybe I could appeal to his better angels? Dilbert: His better angels wear noise-canceling headphones. Woman: Okay, fine. I'll just appeal to his self-interest. Dilbert: It would be in his best interest to avoid people like you. Woman: What do you suggest? Dilbert: We've had good outcomes using his ignorance and fear. Woman: Sign this ore else a blockchain drone will kill you in your sleep. Boss: Where's my pen!

Wally's Stealth Drone

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Stealth Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #deception, #deceit, #drone, #technology, #invention, #fake

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: In my right hand is a standard drone. In my left hand is a drone using the cloaking technology I invented. Voices: Ooh! Wow! Wally: I'll demonstrate it flying as soon as I finish the noise cancellation. CEO: Employee of the year!

Ai For Productivity

Thank you for voting.
Ai For Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #meeting, #productivity, #obliviousness, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We started using A.I. to identify when employees are unproductive. Device: Ping ping ping ping ping ping. Boss: Looks like this meeting is setting off some alarms.

Candor Monster

Thank you for voting.
Candor Monster - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #carol, #radical candor, #therapy, #criticism, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My new system of using "radical candor," is working out great. I've been criticizing people all morning and only three of them went into therapy over it. Now I turn my candor to you. Carol: Die, monster!

Present Company Excluded

Thank you for voting.
Present Company Excluded - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #carol, #virtual, #human, #organic, #cheated, #present, #excluded, #problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I just spent three days using virtual reality with no human contact whatsoever. Now every time I interact with an organic human, I feel cheated. Carol: Present company excluded? Dilbert: Here's another problem I never have in virtual reality.

Dogbert's Pep Talk

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Pep Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #virtual, #forget, #real, #people, #inadequate, #talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm worried that if I spend too much time using virtual reality, I'll forget how to talk to real people. Dogbert: I doubt you could get more boring and inadequate than you already are.