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Coffee Machine Uses Guilt

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Coffee Machine Uses Guilt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #coffee maker, #automatic, #invention, #manipulation

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Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.

New Statue In The Lobby

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New Statue In The Lobby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #the boss, #criminal, #tech support, #darned, #good, #report

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The Boss: Where's the career criminal I hired to do tech support? He was last seen talking to you. Alice: Rumor has it that someone murdered him, covered him in with-out and tried to pass him off as a statue in the lobby. Dilbert: I would report this if it did't look so darned good here.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #confused, #irritation, #misunderstanding, #office, #office workers, #requests

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Dilbert: Did you finish the specs I asked you for last week? Ted: You didn't follow up with me on that, so I assumed you didn't need them. Dilbert: I didn't need to follow up. I asked for the specs by today, and you said you would have them done. Ted: Yes, but then you didn't ask me again. Dilbert: There was no reason to ask you again. Ted: Obviously there was a reason because asking me once didn't work. Dilbert: Can you finish it by next week? Ted: Yes. Dilbert: Good. Ted: As long as you follow up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #boss, #business, #change, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary, #company

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Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't accomplish anything this year. Dilbert: Are you insane? I completely redesigned our line of products!!! Boss: That was mostly last year. Dilbert: You didn't give me a raise last year because I wasn't finished until January of this year. Now you aren't giving me a raise this year because I did most of the work last year. Give me one reason I shouldn't quit right now! Boss: Because every other company is just as bad. And you don't like change. Dilbert: I said one reason!