Sales Person Comic Strips - Page 38

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390 Results for Sales Person

View 371 - 380 results for sales person comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Can't Take Immersive Vr Seat

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Asok Can't Take Immersive Vr Seat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virtual reality, #vr, #reality, #physical, #illusion

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Boss: That seat is taken by Kevin, our new immersive VR employee. Asok: But... I'm a physical person. Boss: Did you just insult Kevin's corporeal identity? Asok: I don't see how that's a problem. Kevin: I can't work in this hostile environment.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

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Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

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Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #morals, #blame

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Dilbert: Don't finish the software patch. We're replacing the entire system. Man: Why didn't you tell me sooner? Dilbert: I just found out. Man: While you were standing here. Dilbert: Um, no, I was standing somewhere else. Man: When? Dilbert: Twenty minutes ago. Man: Aha!!! You wasted twenty minutes of my time because you're a terrible person! Dilbert; I'm sorry. Now I feel awful. Man: You're just lucky I forgot to work on that patch.

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

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Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #negotiating, #deception, #sales, #manipulation, #deal, #business

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Boss: I approved your request to take a negotiating class. Dilbert: Why did you change your mind? Boss: The instructor offered a great deal. Narrator: Earlier that day. Dogbert: Would you like to spend other people's money to get rid of Dilbert for a few days? Boss: Sold!

Wally Presents To Board

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Wally Presents To Board - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #stealth, #invisibility, #naked, #surprise, #hiding, #camoflage

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Boss: I want you to present your stealth clothing prototype to our board. Wally: Are you sure? Boss: Of course I'm sure. CEO: I thought we were trying to make the person invisible. Wally: Then why is it called stealth "clothing?"

Dilbert Won't Kill

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Dilbert Won't Kill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #morals, #ethics, #self-driving cars, #murder

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Boss: Can you program our self-driving car prototype to drive Ted off a bridge so I don't have to fire him? Dilbert: Just because I have the power to kill a person and leave no evidence whatsoever doesn't meal I'll do it. Boss: He says he won't kill anyone. Alice: Crud! Asok: Shoot! Carol: Dang!

Second Opinion

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Second Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #clarification, #confusion, #instructions, #leadership, #boss, #flake

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Dilbert: Yesterday I asked for clarification on my assignment. But your clarification sounded nothing like the original assignment. Boss: Sometimes it's good to get a second opinion. Dilbert: Not from the same person.

Asking Successful People For Advice

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Asking Successful People For Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #success, #Advice, #ambition

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Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?

Elbonian Cabbage Juggling

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Elbonian Cabbage Juggling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #offense, #offensive, #racist, #racism

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Dilbert: Here's my first cut at a sales video for our Elbonian market segment. Video: If you enjoy juggling cabbages while overdrinking, you'll love our products! Boss: This sounds kind of racist. Dilbert: Inebriated cabbage-juggling is their national sport.

Elbonian Ninjas

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Elbonian Ninjas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #controversy, #offense, #offensive, #threat, #murder, #ninja, #optimism

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Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.