Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 38

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Avoid Work

View 371 - 380 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags balcberry, contact, do work, all day, prodcutivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I need a Blackbery so I can be in e-mail contact at all times." "I'll be able to do work all day and all night. My productivity will soar!" The Boss: "Trust me, it doesn't look good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags help alice, work harder, expect to happen

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, I asked you to help Alice on her project but all you did was tell her to work harder." "You can't just tell someone to work harder and expect it to happen!"" Wally: "Aren't you doing that right now?" The Boss: "Shut up and go work harder."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags share cubicle, date you, incredible time together, if it didn't work

View Transcript

Transcript

"It's too bad that we share a cubicle. Otherwise I'd date you." "If it didn't work out, we'd have to see each other every day." "...Always reminded of our incredible time together." "Where's the bad?!! Where's the bad?!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new guy, strong culture, doing teask, unimaginable, getting suckers, to do our work

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Guy" "We have a strong culture of team--work here." "While you're doing those easy tasks, I'll be off doing assignments of unimaginable diffuculty." Dilbert: "Did anyone warn you that we have a strong culture of getting suckers to do our work?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags balancing work life, job anger, destablizie, crush urges, punch something, will want kids

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm having trouble balancing my work life and my personal life. How do you do it? Alice: "I use job anger to destabilize my hormonal blaance and crush any competing urges." "That reminds me I need to punch something today or I'll want to have kids."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good advice, balance, personal life, zen approach, no freinds, no work, perfect balance, zen, faster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." Wally: "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." Dilbert: "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" wally: "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags shoddy mistakes, meeting, avoid mistakes, documented process, keep hearing, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "In order to avoid shoddy mistakes, everything we do from now on will be part of a documented process." Wally: "What documented process did you use to decide what documented process to use?" wally: "Or is this one of those shoddy mistakes I keep hearing about?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accomplishments, iso 9000, sei policies, new policy, comply, head spin, imagination, pretending to work

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "My accomplishments this month include complying with our ISO 9000, Sarbanes-Oxley and SEI-5 policies." "And if you make a new policy, I will comply with it so fast it will make your head spin!" "Is it my imagination or is pretending to work getting easier?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no meetings, create work, canceled them, drop in

View Transcript

Transcript

"Carol, why don't I have any meetings today?" "Your meetings create work for me, so I canceled them." "Maybe I could drop in on some people." "Harpoon."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags programmers, agile programming, methods, more work, fewer people

View Transcript

Transcript

We need three more programmers. "Use agile programming methods." "Agile programming doesn't just mean doing more work with fewer people." "Find me some words that DO mean that and ask again."