New Product Comic Strips - Page 38
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1000 Results for New Product
View 371 - 380 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 06,
2004
Tags compnay, synonymous with crime, incompetence, new logo, computer graohics, crime
Transcript
"Dogbert Consults." Dogbert: "Your company has become synonymous with incompetence and crime." "Stop trying to be all things to all people. Focus on either the incompetence OR the crime." "For your new logo, I used computer graphics to create a composite face that looks totally incompetent." "Wow."
Wednesday March 03,
2004
Tags ytransferred, new job, secretary job eliminated, masive incompetence, resentment, anger, splitting mad, offers new job
Transcript
The Boss: "Carol, two things: First, I got transferred to a new job, and that means your job here is eliminated." Carol: "Why must I suffer for your massive incompetence? You worthless pile of stinking crud!" "And the second thing?" The boss: "I'll need a secretary at the new job."
Thursday March 04,
2004
Tags sexism, witch coven, new manager, face growl, new dress code, winged monkey, called tough
Transcript
Zenox: "I'm Zenox, the new manager of this coven... I mean department." "When I am displeased I make this face and growl like the undead." Grrow-eeeahh! "The new dress code is 'winged monkey.'" Dilbert: "If a man acted like you he'd be called tough."
Friday March 05,
2004
Tags new boss, goat head, puts spell, workers, finish project, sadistic, fair, witch as boss, motivation
Transcript
The New Boss "Maybe you'll be more motivated with a goat head." "The spell won't go away until you finish your project." "She's a big improvement over our last boss." "She's sadistic, but she's fair."
Tuesday April 13,
2004
Tags poorly designed product, ever been killed, tainted research
Transcript
"This is the Dogbert research company. Have you ever been killed by a poorly designed product?" "My tainted research shows that your products haven't killed anyone." "For an extra $50,000, I can call a second person." "I don't want to jinx it."
Monday April 26,
2004
Tags bad attitude, new engineer, paid more, justify, smile
Transcript
"Why does the new engineer get paid more than I do? How do you justify that?" "Unlike you, he doesn't have a bad attitude." "I have a good attitude. Look at this smile. Look!" "My eyes!"
Tuesday May 11,
2004
Tags non credible guy, invented reality tv, preposterous stories, picture hostility & curiosity, einstein, entertain realtives, new theory, liar, pathological liar, lies
Transcript
The non-credible guy "And that's how I invented 'reality tv.'" "Why don't you keep telling me preposterous stories while I stare at you with a mixture of hostility and curiosity?" "And then Einstein asked me to entertain his relatives while he thought of a name for his new theory." "Good, good."
Friday May 14,
2004
Tags approval, new safety manual, wear protective gloves, safety goggles, blood, grabbed
Transcript
Wally: I need your approval on the new safety manual. The Boss: "Gaaa!!! Sharp edges!! Gaaa!!! It grabbed my hand!!!" Wally: "Chapter One: Wear protective gloves and safety goggles at all times." The Boss: "Aaaiieee!!!"
Saturday May 15,
2004
Tags workplace injuries, 10 thousand percent, new safety manuals, website, blood pressure rising, technology
Transcript
Wally: "Workplace injuries are up ten thousand percent since I distributed the new safety manuals." "The binders have sharp edges and, apparently, a curse. I asked Asok to help put it on our website." Asok: "Hands... So numb. Eyes... Strained. Blood pressure rising..."
Friday May 28,
2004
Tags budget cut, 25% budget cut, ulcers, heart disease, product, envy, mysterious pustles
Transcript
"If I cut you product development budget by 25%, what could you develop?" "Ulcers, heart disease and maybe mysterious pustules." "How about the product itself?" "It will envy me."


