Work Comic Strips - Page 38
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1000 Results for Work
View 371 - 380 results for work comic strips. Discover the best "Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 21,
2012
Tags managers & supervisors, work ethic, coaching, angry, boos, employee, attitude, business, psychology
Transcript
Boss: I stopped by to do some coaching. Dilbert: How's that work when the employee is more capable than the coach in every conceivable way? Boss: Let's start with your attitude. Dilbert: Said the angry guy.
Thursday December 06,
2012
Tags happiness, work ethic, career advice, work hard, destroy helath, personal life, happiness advice, psychology
Transcript
Asok: Alice, do you have any valuable career advice? Alice: Work so hard that it destroys your health and crowds out any chance of having a personal life. Asok: Wouldn't that make me... unhappy? Alice: You didn't ask for happiness advice.
Sunday December 02,
2012
Tags cublicle, hours worked, judgement, long term projects, near term deliverables, negotiate, output, work ethic, work from home, holy grail
Transcript
Wally: I would like to be evaluated on my output, not the hours I work. Boss: Okay. That sounds reasonable. Wally: It does? Wow. And I'd also like to work at home where there are fewer distractions so I can be more productive. Boss: Okay. That makes sense. Wally: Really? I mean... great! I'd also like to work on long-term projects that have no near-term deliverables. Holy grail, holy grail, holy grail. Boss: Go back to your cubicle and don't leave until five o'clock. Wally: I was this close to retiring at full pay.
Tuesday December 11,
2012
Tags business ethics, mergers & acquisitions, redendancy, hard work, fired, card board boxes
Transcript
Boss: Ted, the merger has made your job redundant. As a reward for your years of hard work, feel free to use one of our cardboard boxes to get your junk out of here. Uh-oh. It looks like we forgot to hide the good boxes.
Thursday December 13,
2012
Tags work ethic, strengths and weakness, sharpen skills, actual work, mentoring
Transcript
Wally: I don't know if I should focus on my strengths or strengthen my weaknesses. Or should I have a bias for action and not waste time sharpening any of my skills? Boss: Which path gets you to do actual work? Wally: I sense a coldness to your mentoring.
Thursday January 03,
2013
Tags dress cassually, drive innovation, flex hours, frustration, optimism, start up culture, valued work
Transcript
Boss: We need to foster more of a start-up culture to drive innovation. Dilbert: So we get to dress casually, work flex hours, feel that our work is valued, and get equity in the company. Boss: What would be the name of a culture where people work hard but don't get any of those things you just mentioned.
Sunday December 30,
2012
Tags delusional sociopath, executives, gardener, goat writing autobiograohy, hallucinations, hard work, intuition, magical thinking, non-fiction, vision, regrets
Transcript
Dogbert: I finished ghostwriting your autobiography. CEO: "I was ridiculously lucky. The End." I was hoping you'd include something about all of my hard work. Dogbert: You didn't work any harder than your gardener, and he lives in his truck. CEO: What about my vision and intuition? Dogbert: My first draft had a chapter on your hallucinations and magical thinking. But I covered that ground with the title: "I'm A Delusional Sociopath And You Can Too." CEO: I'm starting to regret paying you in advance.
Sunday January 06,
2013
Tags complaining, team members, work, motivation, make waves
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't get one of my team members to do any work. I'm hoping you can talk to his boss. Boss: I don't want to make waves. Dilbert: It's your job to make waves! They pay you to make waves, you worthless pile of stupidity! Oops. Wally: I heard you made waves. How'd that work out? Dilbert: Surprisingly bad.
Monday February 18,
2013
Tags laziness, sense of urgency, energy, pretend to work, fake urgency, vague goals, health
Transcript
Boss: We need to have a sense of urgency. Wally: I use most of my energy pretending to work, but I can add a layer of fake urgency if you really need it. Boss: What? Wally: I gotta go! I have vague goals to achieve!
Sunday March 24,
2013
Tags happiness, work ethic, workplace happiness, direct deposit, mental distance, effort, paycheck, no clear goal, doing good work, job satisafaction, stress related problems, highly demotivated, psychology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, what is the key to workplace happiness? Wally: Well, Asok, it all starts with direct deposit. You want to keep some mental distance between your effort and your paycheck. Next, you want to work on projects that have no clear goals or deadlines. Coworker: Hey, Wally, can you... Wally: No, I'm too busy doing various things. Asok: What about the satisfaction of doing good work? Wally: Job satisfaction is what people feel right before they die from stress-related problems. Asok: I feel highly demotivated right now. Wally: You are very welcome.

