Ceo Comic Strips - Page 38
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627 Results for Ceo
View 371 - 380 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 01,
2013
Tags competition (psychology), thinking, ceos technology challenge, innovative ideas, fresh water, elbonia, award winning ideas, water in a box
Transcript
CEO: I'm proud to announce the winner in the CEO's technology challenge. Two weeks ago, I challenged you to come up with innovative ideas for getting fresh water to Elbonia. The winner is someone named Wally. Wally's idea for bringing fresh water to Elbonia is... "in a box." That's the best one? Boss: We only had one entry. CEO: I hate your bald guts. Wally: I get that a lot. If you need me, I'll be in my cubicle thinking up award-winning ideas.
Sunday December 08,
2013
Tags executives, laziness, managers & supervisors, famous leaders, copy, 16 hrs a day, reading about industry, leaders eat cake, business
Transcript
Dogbert: I have studied the practices of famous leaders so you can copy them. First, work sixteen hours every day. Boss & CEO: Sixteen hours?? Dogbert: And in your spare time, you should be reading about your industry to stay current. Boss & CEO: Reading??? Dogbert: Oookay. This isn't working. Suppose I told you that famous leaders eat a lot of cake? That took a creepy turn.
Monday December 09,
2013
Tags executives, snobbishness, random subordinate, own boats, touch people, ceo.meeting, rich, porr
Transcript
CEO: Hello, random subordinate that I am seeing in the hallway! I'm your CEO, but I'm still like a regular person. Asok: My name is Asok. CEO: I only touch people who own boats.
Friday December 13,
2013
Tags discussion, executives, ignorance (knowledge), culture of innovation, less work, stop criticizing
Transcript
CEO: We need to foster a culture of innovation. Does anyone have an idea how we can do that? Dilbert: You could give us less work and you could stop criticizing every idea we have. CEO: Does anyone have a suggestion that isn't ridiculous?
Thursday December 19,
2013
Tags executives, rich people, wages, ceo lifestyle, yacht, penthouse, estate, priceless art, million dollar watch, money
Transcript
Dilbert: Hey, look! There's a story on the Internet about your fabulous CEO lifestyle. Here's a picture of your yacht, your penthouse in New York, your palatial estate, and your priceless art. CEO: This really isn't the time. Dilbert: Said the man with the million-dollar watch.
Thursday December 26,
2013
Tags surprise, work ethic, having passion
Transcript
CEO: The key to success is having passion for what you do! Dilbert: You make a good point. I quit. Wally: I'm out of here. Alice: Me, too. CEO: You promised me they wouldn't listen. Boss: It caught me by surprise, too.
Monday December 30,
2013
Tags business ethics, executives, managers & supervisors, kill or cannibalize, business
Transcript
CEO: Experts say we need to be willing to kill or cannibalize our best businesses. Boss: I can do that. I've been killing our best businesses for years. CEO: That's all the leadership I have for today. Boss: That'll last me.
Tuesday January 07,
2014
Tags ironic, irony, statue crushed guard, too soon, word invention, iron sculpture, crushed security guard
Transcript
Dilbert: The iron sculpture in our lobby fell off its base and crushed a security guard. CEO: And that's where we get the word "ironic." Dilbert: It happened ten minutes ago. CEO: Oh, so it's "too soon?"
Saturday January 11,
2014
Tags boss, cruelty, executives, joking, self deprecating joke, tasks, underling
Transcript
CEO: Hello, underling. Watch me do a self-deprecating joke to underscore my true power. Ho ho! I am not good at some types of unimportant tasks! Ha ha! That's why I'm glad I have people like you to do those things. Dilbert: Impressive.
Wednesday January 15,
2014
Tags competition (psychology), inventions, space flight, elon musk, space hsips, electric cars, electric rocket, robots, colonize, planet, power cord
Transcript
CEO: I want to be more visionary than Elon Musk. All he does is build spaceships and electric cars. I want you to build me an electric rocket ship full of robots that can colonize other worlds. Which planet should we do first? Dilbert: Depends how long the power cord is.


