Company Comic Strips - Page 38

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View 371 - 380 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags senior vice presdient, cyrus, virus, infection, managers, old cronmies, pointy haired pete

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "I'd like you to meet our new Senior Vice President, Cyrus The Virus." The Boss continues, "Like an infection, he will soon attack the managers in this company and replace us with his old cronies." The new Senior Vice President says into his cell phone, "Tell pointy-haired Pete to get over here right away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags acquired benefits, adopt program, blend benefits progarm, blending, evil director, maternity leave, merger approved, smokers

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "The merger has been approved." The Boss continues, "Our evil director of human resources will blend the acquired company's benefits with our own." Alice, Dilbert, and Wally cry, "WAAA! WAAA! WAAA!" The Boss thinks, "Apparently they know what blending means." Catbert says to the other HR director, "Let's see... My company offers six months of maternity leave for mothers." The other HR director replies, "We treat 'em like smokers. They have to squat in the parking lot for 10 minutes then go back to work." Catbert says, "That's very evil.. We'll adopt your program." The other HR director responds, "Thanks." The Boss reads the new benefits plan. He asks, "What is 'draining?' Catbert responds, "Our company called it training."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget, spend it, can't tell budget, whats company strategy

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A senior manager says to The Boss, "I can't tell you how much your budget is, because if I did, you'd try to spend all of it." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me when I'm over budget?" The senior manager replies, "No, because then you'd know what the budget is." The Boss asks, "Can you tell me what our company strategy is?" The senior manger replies, "Sure. It's... Ha ha ha! Just kidding."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags broke, bankrupt comapny, 401k worthless, diversifying your investments, 37% retrurn, burn in hell

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Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "I'm broke. The company declared bankruptcy and my 401k savings are worthless." Dogbert replies, "No, I've been impersonating you and diversifying your investments into tobacco, sweat shops, and diamond mines." Dilbert says, "Really?! How am I doing?" Dogbert responds, "It's mixed. You have a 37% return but your soul will burn for eternity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accountants are weasels, defective, dilmom, make money, sell t shirts, selling defects, wesel soup

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Dilbert says to his mom, "Our accountants are weasels. They let us go bankrupt so they could sell T-shirts that say, 'I'm with bankrupt.'" Dilbert's mom responds, "Didn't your company make all of its money selling products you know were defective?" Dilbert replies, "Just stir your cauldron, mom." Dilbert's mom says, "Ironically we're having weasel soup."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags study culture, in company, detailed recommendations, docile outcast, drinks brown water, staple tracking device

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Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk wearing a hat, a backpack, and holding a stick. Dogbert says, "I will study the culture in your company and make detailed recommendations." Dogbert observes Wally and records, "The one I call Wally is a docile outcast who eats bananas and drinks brown water." Dogbert asks Wally, "Do you mind if I staple this tracking device to your ear?" Wally responds, "Not really."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags amorphous ad comapny, campaign, gaseous cloud, some music, ruin ad, Politics

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "I hired the 'Amorphous Ad Company' to do our campaign." The advertising executive says, "I see a gaseous cloud and some music... No, just a noise." The Boss replies, "Excellent." The Boss asks, "And then we say the name of our company?" The advertising executive replies, "Sure, if you want to ruin the ad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags billion dollar idea, sweet mother, owns your ideas, fire you, then sue you, always hardest

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Asok says to The Boss and Alice, "Sweet mother of potatoes! I just thought of a billion-dollar idea!!" The Boss responds, "The company owns all of your ideas. Cough it up or I'll fire you and then sue you." Asok and Alice are walking together. Asok cries, "Waaa!" Alice says, "Your first billion-dollar idea is always the hardest."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags code, projects expenses, assigns codes, breaking hard

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Dilbert says to a coworker, "And I need a code for charging my project's expenses." The coworker says, "No. I hate your project." Dilbert responds, "It doesn't matter if you hate it. You're just the guy who assigns codes." The coworker motions to the door and says, "Get out of here." Dilbert asks, "Why is everything in this company so freakin' hard?" The coworker replies, "Because of people like you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonia, dress code, barrels, lack fashion, make up for

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Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "Yes, my company is so broke that our dress code is barrels..." Dilbert continues, "But what we lack in fashion we make up for in... umm..." Dilbert continues, "Did I already say lack of fashion?"