Long Debate Comic Strips - Page 38

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

384 Results for Long Debate

View 371 - 380 results for long debate comic strips. Discover the best "Long Debate" comics from Dilbert.com.

Rfp Process

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rfp Process - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #rfp, #proceed, #stupid, #technology, #obsolete

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: we finished the r.f.p. process and selected a vendor. but it tool so long that all of their technology is obsolete. should i proceed stupidly? boss: it got us this far.

No Time Before Next Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Time Before Next Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #care, #co-workers, #hate, #job, #lesson, #meeting, #nonesence, #procrastinate, #reality, #report, #stupid, #technical, #technology, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.

Should Have Done It Sooner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Should Have Done It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #dollars, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #patch, #payroll, #problem, #raise, #savings, #software, #technology, #years

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.

Gaslighting The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Gaslighting The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #month, #november, #october, #birthday, #family relations, #wife, #gaslight

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: what's the name of the month that comes after october? dilbert: november boss: that's what i thought. my wife is trying to gaslight me so she doesn't have to buy me a birthday present. dilbert: how long has she been doing that? boss: i thought i was 26 years old until just now.

Word Salad

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Word Salad   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #argument, #implications, #long term, #ramifications, #strategic, #priorities, #word salad, #trigger, #cognitive, #dissonance, #business, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: you think you made a good argument, but... you are failing to consider the overall implications of the long-term ramifications with regard to strategic priorities. dilbert: that big bowl of word salad suggests i triggered you into cognitive dissonance. boss: tuna carpet!

Becoming Golem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Becoming Golem   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #creature, #cynical, #doom, #experience, #face mask, #golem, #jaded, #lord of the rings, #office workers, #work, #coffee, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i've noticed that the more experience i gain, the more cynical and jaded i become. am i doomed to become a golem-like creature with a bad attitude if i work here long enough? no offense. Wally: none taken.

Authority On Your Opinion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Authority On Your Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #disagreements, #Opinion, #sarcasm, #change, #debate, #authority, #hallucinating, #lying, #stupid, #gaslight, #insult, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: why have you changed your opinion since last week? dilbert: i haven't changed my opinion. co-worker: no, it was different last week. dilbert: are we really debating which one of us is a better authority on my opinion? co-worker: you might be lying about not changing your opinion. dilbert: and you might be hallucinating or lying or just stupid. co-worker: you might be trying to gaslight me right now. i'm glad we can have these honest talks. dilbert: i hope you plunge to your death in a freak elevator accident.

When To Reply To Boss Text

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
When To Reply To Boss Text  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #communication, #performance, #response, #review, #sarcasm, #spreadsheet, #technology, #text

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: how long should i wait before responding to a text message from my boss? dilbert: that depends. are you already overworked? wally: um, sure. dilbert: do you need to teach him a lesson for any unrelated things he did? wally: always. dilbert: do you dislike him in general? wally: yes. dilbert: lastly, how many months until your next performance review? wally: seven. dilbert: okay....putting those inputs into my spreadsheet. you can wait 27 minutes before responding. wally: oh. i was hoping it would be closer to five days. dilbert: when did he text you? wally: i believe it was august.

Think About Long Term

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Think About Long Term - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #long term, #dynamics, #reasonable, #random, #decision, #job, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: we need to think longer term about how all of these dynamics play out. dilbert: sounds reasonable. what exactly were we doing before? office worker: i can't speak for anyone else, but i was making random decisions and hoping i'd change jobs before anyone found out.

Catbert Keyboard Audit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Catbert Keyboard Audit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #human resources, #keyboard, #audit, #remote, #workers, #silly, #laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert at laptop. catbert: human resources is doing keyboard audits on all remote workers. catbert: looks like you have a keyboard right there. catbert laying on keyboard: mmm-mmm! dilbert: will this take long?