Sales Engineer Comic Strips - Page 38

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426 Results for Sales Engineer

View 371 - 380 results for sales engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Device Has Human Emotions

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Wally's Device Has Human Emotions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #invention, #human, #humanity, #misanthrope

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Dilbert: Is it true that you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions? Wally: Yes. I'd give you a demo, but the device is depressed and wants to be left alone. Dilbert: It looks like a block of wood. Wally: I'm only trying to copy the human mind. There's no reason to over-engineer it. Dilbert: I can respect that.

Boss Buys Software Without Help

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Boss Buys Software Without Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad advice, #Advice, #sales, #lying, #deception, #business

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Boss: I bought new software for our network. Dilbert: Who helped you on the technical side? Boss: The vendor. He said our current software uses the wrong kind of electricity.

Weak Sales Reorg

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Weak Sales Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #money, #golden parachute, #greed, #logic, #sales, #business

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Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.

Tina Isn't An Engineer

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Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination, #engineering

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Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.

Blame Rolls Downhill

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Blame Rolls Downhill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #responsibility, #management

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Boss: Our CEO blamed the Sales department for our low revenue. Sales blamed Marketing and Marketing blamed Engineering. Guess why I'm here. Dilbert: To shield me from unfair accusations?

Sales Is Blaming Marketing

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Sales Is Blaming Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales, #responsibility, #blame, #business

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Boss: Our salespeople are blaming Marketing for the low demand. Marketing is blaming Engineering for making a product no one wants. So I blamed our customers for misleading us about their needs. Asok: Now I don't feel so bad about our price-gouging.

Car Rental Typing

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Car Rental Typing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logic, #efficiency, #car rental, #frustration

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Car Rental. Man: I hope you don't have some sort of technology job. Dilbert: Why? Man: Because the user experience you are about to endure might make your head explode. Narrator: Twenty minutes later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why do you need to type so much?!!! Man: We got an engineer!

Volunteers For Mars Trip

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Volunteers For Mars Trip - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #karma, #death, #design, #medical

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Boss: I need volunteers to go to Mars in the spaceship we're building. Dilbert: Ask Ted. He's dispensable because he's a terrible engineer. Boss: Ted designed the spaceship. Dilbert: Karma will sort that all out.

Programming Environment

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Programming Environment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #productivity, #programmer, #engineer, #developer, #engineering

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Boss: Did you finish writing the software? Dilbert: No. I spent the last three days setting up my programming environment. Boss: So... you've done... nothing? Dilbert: Nothing you'd understand.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #scope, #negotiating, #engineer, #demands, #failure, #stress, #business, #engineering

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Boss: We need to cut our budget. Go to all of our vendors and tell them to reduce their prices. Dilbert: Why would they do that for us? Boss: Tell them we'll buy from someone else unless they do. Dilbert: That's what we told them to get the prices we have now. I'm an engineer, not a professional negotiator. Your plan has failure designed into it. Your poor leadership already has me on the edge of madness. This could push me over the edge. Boss: And I need it done by Tuesday.