Sales Person Comic Strips - Page 38
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408 Results for Sales Person
View 371 - 380 results for sales person comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Person" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 11,
2017
Wally Presents To Board
Tags #stealth, #invisibility, #naked, #surprise, #hiding, #camoflage
Transcript
Boss: I want you to present your stealth clothing prototype to our board. Wally: Are you sure? Boss: Of course I'm sure. CEO: I thought we were trying to make the person invisible. Wally: Then why is it called stealth "clothing?"
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Thursday February 01,
2018
Dilbert Won't Kill
Tags #morals, #ethics, #self-driving cars, #murder
Transcript
Boss: Can you program our self-driving car prototype to drive Ted off a bridge so I don't have to fire him? Dilbert: Just because I have the power to kill a person and leave no evidence whatsoever doesn't meal I'll do it. Boss: He says he won't kill anyone. Alice: Crud! Asok: Shoot! Carol: Dang!
Tuesday May 22,
2018
Second Opinion
Tags #clarification, #confusion, #instructions, #leadership, #boss, #flake
Transcript
Dilbert: Yesterday I asked for clarification on my assignment. But your clarification sounded nothing like the original assignment. Boss: Sometimes it's good to get a second opinion. Dilbert: Not from the same person.
Tuesday June 12,
2018
Asking Successful People For Advice
Tags #success, #Advice, #ambition
Transcript
Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?
Monday July 16,
2018
Elbonian Sales Video Assignment
Tags #culture, #catch-22, #misunderstanding, #communication
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of making a persuasive sales video for our Elbonian clients. Make sure you read their wikipedia page first so you understand the nuances of their culture. Wikipedia: In the Elbonian culture, showing someone a sales video is punishable by dead.
Tuesday July 17,
2018
Elbonian Cabbage Juggling
Tags #offense, #offensive, #racist, #racism
Transcript
Dilbert: Here's my first cut at a sales video for our Elbonian market segment. Video: If you enjoy juggling cabbages while overdrinking, you'll love our products! Boss: This sounds kind of racist. Dilbert: Inebriated cabbage-juggling is their national sport.
Wednesday July 18,
2018
Elbonian Ninjas
Tags #controversy, #offense, #offensive, #threat, #murder, #ninja, #optimism
Transcript
Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.
Friday July 20,
2018
Elbonians Call Off The Hit
Wednesday October 17,
2018
Copersons
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #correct, #co-worker, #work, #co-person, #leech
Transcript
Dilbert: What is the correct name for a co-worker who doesn't do any actual work? I'm thinking "co-person," or possibly just, "leech." Wally: Are we working right now? Dilbert: Good point, co-person.
Saturday October 27,
2018
Crypto Key
Tags #ceo, #Wally, #cryptocurrency, #wallet, #disappeared, #private, #key
Transcript
CEO: I put five thousand dollars into the cryptocurrency wallet you created for me and it disappeared! You're the only other person who knew my password and private key. Wally: That's not true. I shared them with Dilbert to create reasonable doubt.