Technology Comic Strips - Page 38

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803 Results for Technology

View 371 - 380 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fitness, competition, step, fitbit, tracker, technology, competitive, exercise, walking, Sports, health

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Wally: According to my fitness tracker, I took 20,000 steps yesterday. Alice: What? That's double what I did. You won't win this! I will run to the ends of the earth to beat your step count! Dilbert: Do you really have a fitness tracker? Wally: No, it looks like a lot of work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags antisocial, conversation, uncomfortable, awkward, Women, technology, discussion

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Tina: It is hard to be a woman in this industry. Dilbert: I'll let you take this one. Wally: Got it. I'm short, bald, and nearsighted. I have no ambition, and I have all the sign of being a sociopath. I am unattractive and too old for the tech industry., I am shaped like a sad turnip and I do not make people laugh. Alice: What are you hens clucking about now? Tina: I can't begin to tell you how much I want to change the subject.

Computers Program Humans

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Computers Program Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robots, program, intelligence, control, medication, medicine, pill, technology, power

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Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.

Robot Dispenses Meds

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Robot Dispenses Meds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, medicine, pill, anxiety, deception, control, manipulation

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Robot: My biosensors detect an onset of social anxiety. My internal 3-D printer is making the meds to fix you. I am ready to dispense. Please lie on the ground with your mouth open. Dilbert: This feels like a bad precedent.

Wally Engineers Something

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Wally Engineers Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags genius, brilliant, idea, thinking, printer, technology, invention, medicine, deception, motivation, innovation, laziness

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Dilbert: Did you design our robot's 3-D pill printer? Wally: Yup. Dilbert: The design is brilliant, except for the part where the pill drops out of the robot's butt. Why are you suddenly brilliant? Wally: Never had a reason before.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, work, results, observation, thinking, strategy, proof, evidence

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Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer, robot, replacement, doctor, medicine, obsolete, job, diagnose, necessity, technology, invention, business, medical

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Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.

Human Contact Through Social Media

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Human Contact Through Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loneliness, antisocial, people, introvert, social media, communication, isolation, technology

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Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags temper, anger, calm, email, frustration, internet, communication, reaction, technology

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Alice: What the... Dilbert: It's not a good idea to answer email while you're angry. Alice: I know, but this idiot... Dilbert: Hold... That's it. Deep breaths. Hold... Hold... Alice: Phew! You were right. I should not get worked up over one idiot. He wasn't working alone! Dilbert: I'm out.

Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally

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Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, text, texting, distraction, shout, diversion, charm, excitement, cheer

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Boss: (types on his phone). Wally: Go team! Can you turn down your charisma? I can barely sit still over here.