Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 38
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Character
1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 371 - 380 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 08,
2016
Dilbert Cheats On His Work Wife
Tags work, wife, wives, adultery, cheating, criticism, nagging, anger, marriage, roles, relationships
Transcript
Alice: There' s rumor that you're cheating on me with another "work wife." Dilbert: I let Tina criticize me a little. But I swear it didn't mean anything. And... she makes me look for her lost keys. Alice: I knew it!
Tuesday June 07,
2016
Tina Wants A Work Husband
Tags marriage, Women, nagging, wife, wives, criticism, yelling, relationships
Transcript
Tina: I'm in the market for a "work husband." Do you have a "work wife" yet? Dilbert: I'm not sure. Alice criticized me a lot. Does that count? Tina: That's all I wanted to do, too. Dilbert: Okay, but don't let Alice find out.
Monday June 06,
2016
Wally's Illusion Of Inefficiency
Tags work ethic, laziness, scam, efficience, culture
Transcript
Boss: I've noticed you don't work as much as your co-workers. That's an illusion caused by the combination of my efficiency and my modesty. Boss: So... you're getting your work done? Wally: Stop poisoning our culture with your distrust.
Friday June 03,
2016
Deciding Which Liar You Prefer
Tags choosing, choices, voting, election, Politics
Transcript
Boss: I can't decide if I want to vote for the liar with the budget plan that doesn't add up or... the other liar with a budget plan that doesn't add up. Dogbert: Have you tried using your ignorance to figure out which one is lying the least? Boss: Ooh, that could work.
Thursday June 02,
2016
Boss Can't Decide Who To Vote For
Friday May 27,
2016
Wally Is Employee Of The Year
Tags cheating, referral, employment, reward, award, bonus, proof, guest artist, jake tapper
Transcript
Boss: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for referring so many new people to work in engineering. We believe he accomplished this feat by manipulating the referral system, but we can't prove it. So just to hedge our bet, we misspelled his name on the certificate. Wally: I had it coming.
Wednesday May 25,
2016
Recommening A Friend
Tags bribe, employee, hiring, money, referral, guest artist, jake tapper
Transcript
Boss: Do you have any friends with technical skills who you can recommend to work here? Wally: I don't have any friends, but if I did, why would I be so mean to them? Boss: You get a $1,000 bonus for referring a friend. Wally: How much for a gullible acquaintance?
Monday May 23,
2016
Self Empowered Week
Tags honesty, aspirations, work ethic, standards, guest artist, jake tapper
Transcript
CEO: I want all of you to be creative, self-empowered, and accountable. Wally: If I could do any of that stuff, why would I work here? I just find the whole thing confusing.
Thursday May 19,
2016
Wally The Thought Leader
Tags title, leadership, work ethic, laziness, strategy, ruse
Transcript
Man: Wally, can you help me... Wally: Whoa! Stop right there. I'm a thought leader, not some wage slave. Man: What do thought leaders do? Wally: You're watching it.
Wednesday May 18,
2016
When Wally Will Be Finished
Tags laziness, work ethic, soon, deadline, procrastination, standoff
Transcript
Woman: Can you get that done by Friday? Wally: I'll get back to you on that. Woman: When will you get back to me? Wally: Soon. Woman: How soon? Wally: I can do this all day.

