Baby Sitting Comic Strips - Page 38

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View 371 - 380 results for baby sitting comic strips. Discover the best "Baby Sitting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #little experiment, #stupid opinion, #aggressively mock, #passing fad, #internet is fad, #internet is everywhere, #back up plan, #attribute opinon

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Dilbert is sitting on the couch, eating, watching TV. Dogbert says to him, "I'm trying a little experiment tonight." Dobert continues, "I'll attribute a stupid opinion to you..." "Then I"ll aggressively mock you while you sit there saying nothing." Dogbert says, "So, according to you, the internet is a passing fad." Dogbert screams, "You moron! Look around you! The internet is everywhere!" Then, "And there's nothing you can do about it! Nothing!" Dilbert, who has turned back to the TV, asks, "How did that feel?" Dogbert replies, "Quite satisfying." Dilbert offers Dogbert some of what he's eating. Dogbert then adds, "I needed a backup plan in case you every get laryngitis."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wife had baby, #a moron, #foster care, #first instinct

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A man walks up to Dilbert and Wally in the office kitchen. The man says, "My wife had a baby!" Wally says, "I hope it's not a moron." Dilbert says, "Have you looked into foster care?" Dilbert says, "Maybe we shouldn't have gone with our first instinct." Wally says, "We meant well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #morale, #family picture, #picture of you, #hard to look at, #freaks, #alice

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Alice, to the Boss, who is sitting at his desk, "...So our morale is... umm..." Alice asks, "What's that on your desk?" The Boss says, "It's a family picture." Alice picks up the photograph, "I might be wrong but I think it's only a picture of you." The Boss says, "The rest of the family is hard to look at." The Boss continues, "I see no reason I should suffer." Alice is stunned. The Boss asks, "Now what was your question about morale?" Alice walks out of the Boss' office. He calls to her, "Alice?" The Boss picks up the picture of himself and says, directly to it, "We're surrounded by freaks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #strategic planning, #sessions, #inadequate data, #knowledge attained, #reorganize, #tried, #magazine

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The boss meets with Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, "Our executives have started their annual strategic planning sessions." The boss says, "This involves sitting in a room with inadequate data until an illusion of knowledge is attained." The boss says, "Then we'll reorganize. because that's all we know how to do!" Wally says, "Have you tried it with a magazine?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security, #equipment removal, #authorization, #signatures, #turn tables, #sign form, #birth certificate

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Dilbert walks by the security desk with a computer part under his arm. The guard says, "Stop." The guard says, "Show me your "equipment removal authorization form." Dilbert shows him a piece of paper. The guard says, "This requires the signature of TWO employees." Dilbert hands the guard a pen and says, "Good catch. You'd better sign it so it's legal." The guard says, "This seems wrong... but I don't know why why." Dilbert says, "And I'll need to see your birth certificate" The guard says, "I don't have one." Dilbert says, "Then how do you know you were born?" The guard thinks, "I have baby pictures, but they could have been doctored by my alleged mom."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #deny request, #evil incarnate, #something specific, #dollar estimate, #value, #chair, #quantify job, #work tools

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Dilbert approaches a worker sitting at his desk. He is holding a piece of paper and says, "Why did the I.S. department deny my request for a P.C. upgrade?" The worker holds up his arms and shouts, "Because we are evil incarnate! BUWAHAHAHA!!" Dilbert says, "I was looking for something more specific." The worker holds out the paper and says, "You didn't provide a dollar estimate of the benefits." Dilbert says, "That's ridiculous. I can't put a value on every tool I need to do my job." The worker sits back in his chair with his arms folded and says, "If you can't quantify it, then it must not be necessary." Dilbert throws up his hands and says, "Then why does the company give me a chair? I can't quantify that either." Dilbert sits on the floor of his cubicle, without a chair. He thinks, "Here's one more reason why it stinks to be me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss replaced, #highly intelligent alien, #held captive, #hideous aliem prison, #just an observation

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Dogbert sitting on the couch. Dilbert sitting on floor. Dilbert says, "Apparently my boss has been replaced by a highly intelligent alien." Dilbert faces Dogbert and continues, "That means my real boss is being held captive in some sort of hideous alien prison." Dogbert asks, "What do you plan to do about it?" Dilbert replies, "It was just an observation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #son-of-a-boss, #complete lack, #knowledge, #vice president, #amrketing, #gift, #piano

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Caption: Son-of-a-Boss Dilbert, Wally, and Son-of-a-Boss sitting at table. Son-of-a-Boss says, "My complete lack of knowledge has not gone unnoticed." Son-of-a-Boss continues, "I've been promoted to Vice President of Marketing!" Son-of-a-Boss says, "If you feel the need to buy me a gift, I'd love a piano."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #son-of_a_boss, #simple prodcut, #mom can use, #hamster, #simple, #dumb, #leave mom out, #physicist

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Caption: Son-of-a-Boss Son-of-a-Boss spaeking with Alice, who is sitting at her computer terminal. Son-of-a-Boss says, "You have to make our product so simple that my mom could use it." Alice turns around and says, "It's already so simple a hamster could use it. How much dumber is your mom?" Son-of-a-Boss responds, "Maybe we should leave my mom out of this." Alice says, "MY mom is a physicist."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss's son, #pickle juice, #pickles, #big probelm, #household, #taught everything

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Wally, The Boss' son, and Dilbert sitting at a table. The Boss' son says, "My dad taught me everything I know." The Boss' son, Dilbert, and Alice sitting at table. The Boss' son continues, "He used to say 'Don't drink the pickle juice until the pickles are gone.'" Wally asks, "Was that a big problem at your house?" The Boss' son answers, "Have you ever been hit in the eye with a pickle?"