Called Resources Comic Strips - Page 38

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View 371 - 380 results for called resources comic strips. Discover the best "Called Resources" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improve moral, #prescribing anti depressants, #unwarranted optimism, #dead end job, #pills, #hr prescribed drugs, #employees happiness

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Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "Human resources is prescribing powerful antidepressants to improve morale." Alice continues, "The label says it may cause 'unwarranted optimism about you dead-end job.'" Wally, "I gotta get me some of that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #underfunded porject, #resources, #intern, #sponge bath, #water fountain, #employees, #budget diffrences, #business

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Rag Man thinks, "I hate being on an underfunded project." Alice walks by with some guy. Rag Man asks, "Can you spare some resources, lady? How about that intern? Are you using him?" Rag Man shows intern, "First you have to learn how to give yourself a sponge bath at the water fountain."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rag man, #project luser, #budget cuts, #beg for resources, #pencil shavings, #coffee

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Man comes up to Dilbert and introduces himself, "I'm the Rag Man from Project Luser." Rag Man says, "Budget cuts have hit our project hard. I'm forced to beg for resources." Dilbert holds out something and says, "I can spare some pencil shavings." Rag Man says, "Excellent! We make coffee out of that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #personal habitats, #cubicles, #hellhole junior, #pictures

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Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, 'I can replace your cubicles with 'personal habitats'." Dogbert says, "They look exactly like cubicles, but we've made huge advances in what they're called." The Boss asks, "Is it expensive?" Dogbert explains, "If money is an issue, you could start with the 'Hellhole Junior' model and upgrade later." The Boss asks, "Do you have pictures?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #boss prevents new job, #great job, #outrageous, #bad situation worse, #human resource promise

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Catbert: Evil H.R. Director: Dilbert sits in Catbert's office and waves his hands in the air as he says, "My boss is preventing me from transfering to a great job." Catbert says, "That's outrageous! There shouldn't be any great jobs at this company." Dilbert says, "Once again, you've made a bad situation worse." Catbert replies, "That's the human resources promise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #skeptics association, #rats claims, #bad experinces, #jurors, #oj simpson trial, #debunk, #hubble telescope

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A man in glasses and a sweatshirt jacket walks in. Dilbert says, "I'm glad the Skeptics Association sent you to debunk my rat's claims of ESP." The skeptic says, "The others don't go out much since their bad experiences as jurors on the O. J. Simpson trial." Dilbert hangs up a coat on the coatrack. Dilbert says, "Well, I'm glad you could make it." The skeptic says, "Let's hurry. I have to debunk the so-called Hubble Telescope later today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #psychic ability, #flip coin, #called, #edge, #coincidence, #coin toss, #ratbert

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Dilbert holds a coin out in his hand. He says, "I will debunk your ludicrous claim of psychic ability with one hundred flips of this coin." Ratbert looks on. Dilbert flips the coin and says, "Call it." Ratbert trows out his hands and says, "Edge." The coin lands on its edge. Dilbert frowns and says, "That was just coincidence." Ratbert says, "I call edge for the next 99, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wally the role model, #art sarcasm, #bosses own word, #disciplined for insubordination, #lips, #resources, #adding value, #would be delighted

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Wally says to Asok, "There's an art to sarcasm, Asok." Wally says, "If you use your boss's own words, you can't be disciplined for insubordination." Wally points to his puckered lips and says, "And do this with your lips." At a meeting, Asok puckers his lips and says to The Boss, "Today I focused my resources on adding value to the product process. Our shareholders would be delighted to know that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #human resources, #randomly selected, #drug test, #unlucky at work, #hair samples, #one whole eyebrow, #lost box, #business

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Catbert sits at his computer terminal. The monitor dispalys a picture of Wally, labeled Victims. Catbert thinks, "You're next." Catbert stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, you've been randomly selected for an employee drug test." Wally says, "Randomly? Why am I the only one who gets picked every week?!" Catbert says, "You're very unlucky at work. But I'm sure you compensate by being lucky at love." Catbert laughs a maniacal laugh. Catbert says, "Anyway... our new drug test uses hair samples." Catbert holds a little box and says, "To be safe, give me six hairs... and one whole eyebrow." Catbert walks off with his box, purring. He thinks, "I'll come back in an hour and says I lost the box."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #human resources, #deadlines, #embarrassing, #fuzzy, #laughed, #embarrasing, #business

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Catbert peers over the cubicle wall at Alice and says, "Alice you have to use your vacation time or you'll lose it." Alice grimaces as Catbert says, "But if you take time off, you'll miss your deadlines." Catbert laughs wickedly. Catbert walks away, his normally smooth fur is puffed out. Catbert thinks, "This is embarrassing. I laughed myself fuzzy."