Desk Comic Strips - Page 38

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

979 Results for Desk

View 371 - 380 results for desk comic strips. Discover the best "Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags benchmarking initiative, crying with joy, mother, phone call, asok, calls mother, Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok sits at his desk and speaks into the phone. "Hi, Mom! Guess what." Asok sits in his cubicle and says, "I'm the process owner for our benchmarking intitive!" Asok holds his hand over the receiver and turns to Wally. There is a PC between them. Asok says, "She's crying with joy..." Wally says, "I used to think that too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags everyone talks funny, not morons, incapable, clear communication, think outside box, watch ego, before ego dies, rebel, do it

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk. Asok the Intern says, "I finally figured out why everyone talks so funny in this company." Asok says, "We're not morons who are incapable of clear communication. We're rebels who like to 'think outside the box.'" The Boss says, "It's always fascinating to watch and ego just before is dies." Asok says, "I'm a rebel! Task me witha 'do it'.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ten percent raise, fifteen percent more, twenty percent, no budget, raises, give big raises, reward for leaving work, price sheet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. He says, "I want a ten-percent raise." The Boss replies, "There's no budget for raises." Dilbert holds up a letter and says, "I have an offer from another company that will pay fifteen percent more." The Boss says, "I'll give you twenty percent if you stay." Dilbert says, "I thought you said there's no budget for raises." The Boss replies, "Well . . . It's supposed to be a secret but . . ." The Boss says, "Our policy is to give big raises to people who spend their time interviewing for other jobs." Dilbert tells Alice and Wally, "Good news! The secret company policy is to reward disloyalty!" They cheer and shout, "Yes! Yippee!" Wally asks, "What's the reward for leaving work early?" Dilbert replies, "He wouldn't show me the price sheet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags added billions, create system, employee of the week, hire experts, product process, stock value, new internet product

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. He says, "We've identified the people who will create the system to develop a product process." Dilbert points at a newspaper and continues, "While we were doing that, our competitor created a new Internet product that added a billion dollars to their stock value." Dilbert says, "Experts attribute the company's success to their 'employee of the week' program." The Boss says, "Quick! Hire those experts!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business consulatnts, common sense, debunks effectiveness, logically flwaed, no common sense, writing book, mass market

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at a desk typing. He tells Dilbert, "I'm writing a book that debunks the effectiveness of business consultants." Dilbert says, "But common sense would say that you're being a consultant yourself, so your opinion is logically flawed." Dilbert says, "Only people with no common sense will buy your book." Dogbert replies, "I prefer to call them the mass market."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project caribou, walls project, final design, now, Wally, thimble, morale in thimble

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Give me a final design for Project Caribou by Tuesday." Dilbert replies, "That's Wally's project." The Boss says, "I know, but I'm thinking about it now and Wally isn't in the room." The Boss says, "Tell Wally it's your project now." Dilbert says, "Do you see this thimble? I keep my morale in it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr director, complaints, unnecessary, meetings, Family, ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "People are complaining that you schedule unnecessary meetings as a substitute for a family." Tina replies, "That's ridiculous! Come to my next meeting and see for yourself." Catbert says, "Okay, I will." Tina tells Dilbert, "I got us a family cat. How was your day, dear?" Dilbert leans on his desk and sobs.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags four hour meeting, surrogate social life, bring chips, wish, had a spine

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina stands behind Asok's desk and says, "You're invited to a four-hour meeting, Asok." Asok looks at the agenda and says, "Tina, it would seem that all of your meetings have no purpose other than to provide you with a surrogate social life." Tina asks, "Can you bring chips?" Asok says, "I wish, I wish, I wish I had a spine."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags despotic nations, software license, submit strip searches, opening package

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and reads the back of an envelope. He reads, "Software Licence: By opening this package you agree . . ." Dilbert reads, ". . . You will not make copies or export to despotic nations. You will submit to strip searches in your home . . ." Dilbert rips open the package. A large woman with a flashlight in her belt enters the room. She says, "Frankly, both of us would have been happier if you had just walked away."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, professional, bearer of bad news, offer position, qualified, six billion, earth, resume

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at a desk and types, "We can not offer you a position at this time but you are obviously qualified." Dogbert types, "Unfortunately, the other six billion people on earth are more qualified." Dogbert types, "We'll keep your resume on file." He crumples the resume into a ball and throws it over his shoulder.