Eight Things Comic Strips - Page 38

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470 Results for Eight Things

View 371 - 380 results for eight things comic strips. Discover the best "Eight Things" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales man, #vendor, #offcie, #fake personality, #buy stuff, #blue things, #so dumb

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Dilbert sits at a conference table with a salesperson. Dilbert says, "...And we'll buy a dozen of these. We're trying to spend our budget so it doesn't get cut next year." The salesperson says, "This is great! You guys are so dumb that I don't even have to use my fake personality to make the sale!" Dilbert says, "...And nine of these blue things." Salesperson turns away and pulls his pants down. The salesperson says, "There's a full moon on the horizon!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #socially defective, #unique preferences, #arguments, #dating, #girl, #dilbert defending himself, #relationships

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Dilbert and woman walking wearing coats. Woman says, "I don't understand why you like the things you like." Woman continues, "I'm forced to conclude that you're socially defective." Woman and Dilbert walking over cobblestone bridge. Dilbert says, "Isn't it normal for people to have unique preferences?" Woman responds, "Do you have to argue with EVERYTHING I say?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clown, #small head, #random things, #pippy, #artistic integrity, #creating comic, #bitter, #dogbert created

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Dilbert looking at Dogbert's cartoon. Dogbert sitting next to him. Dilbert says, "Your comic strip seems to be nothing but a clown with a small head who says random things." Dogbert responds, "That's Pippy." Dogbert explains, "I'm maintaining my artistic integrity by creating a comic that no one will enjoy." Dilbert says, "The important thing is that YOU enjoy it." Dogbert replies, "The first two were okay, but now I'm just bitter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self employed, #invent valuable things, #exploit them, #resource, #bad input, #Dogbert

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the kitchen table and enjoy a cup of coffee together. Dilbert says, "I'm thinking of quitting and working for myself." Dogbert says, "Come work for me." Dilbert says, "Doing what?" Dogbert says, "You'll invent things and I'll exploit you... I mean them." Dilbert says, "I'm not sure you'd be the best boss, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Don't give me that input you 'resource.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #photo, #densely packed universe, #first rat, #win nobel prize, #stranger things, #have happened

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Ratbert says, "So, I'm thinking: what if every photon is just a densely packed universe, and to them, our universe looks like a photon?" Ratbert says, "If I'm right, I might be the first rat to win a Nobel prize." Ratbert says, "Stranger things have happened." Dilbert turns and says, "Name one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illogical scientist, #much smarter, #scientists, #invented things, #don't understand sceince

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Behind him a guy with glasses and a mustache says, "Hi. I'm Dan the Illogical Scientist." Dan says, "I'm much smarter than you because scientists have invented many things." Dilbert says, "But those are other scientists, not you." Dan says, "Apparently you don't understand science."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manger training, #comment, #contain nonsense, #implementation

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The instructor says, "You will often be asked to comment on things you don't understand." The instructor draws a large question mark on a tablet with a marker. The instructor says, "These handouts contain nonsense phrases that can be used in any situation. The Boss and the other pointy-haired managers take the papers. In a meeting with Wally and Dilbert, the Boss says, "...So, let's dominate our industry... with quality implementation of methodologies." Wally says, "I'll get right on it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disturbing pattern, #soultions, #problems, #try last, #old rags, #due respect

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I've noticed a distrubing pattern. Your solutions to problems are always the things you try last." Alice says, "With all due respect, are you using your skull to store old rags or what?" The Boss says to Alice as she leaves her office, "It's a good thing you said, 'With all due respect.'" Alice rols her eyes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #didn't use brain, #already knew, #car pool, #staff meeting, #steak alive

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "I didn't use my brain this week." Wally says, "I listened to things I already knew; I waited for people who were late; I was a passenger in my car pool." The Boss says, "Let's start the staff meeting." Wally pumps his fist in the air and says, "Yes!! Keeping the streak alive!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsized, #dinosaurs, #spike things, #safety hazrd, #ate ficus tree, #being professional

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Dogbert says to Dawn, Bob and Rex, "There's not enough room for all of you dinosaurs. One of you must be downsized." Bob says, "If it helps, these spikey things are a safety hazard. And little Rex ate your ficus tree." Dogbert says, "Thanks for being professional about this, Bob." Bob holds up Little Rex and says, "When you put him in good light, how cute is he really?"