Job Comic Strips - Page 38

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

936 Results for Job

View 371 - 380 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags write press releases, investors, sitting on coal, diamonds, annoyed, angry, too much description, clenching, eyes closed, mouth open

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss says, "Tina, I'm lending you to our executive offices to help writes press releases." Boss says, "Your job will be to tell investors we're sitting on coal and trying to make diamonds." Boss says, "By clenching." Tina says, "I got it!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, presentation, fall asleep, dream, animal snout, nose job, reality, tease, mouth open, scared, wiggle fingers, annoyed, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I must have fallen asleep during your presentation. I dreamed I had an animal snout for a nose. It seemed so real." Dilbert says, "If you can't tell your dreams from your reality, maybe this is your dream and you really do have a snout." Dilbert says, "Does anything seem strange or out of place in this reality?" Wally says, "Can we please do some work?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nose job, homeopathy, art department, annoyed, irrational, hurt feelings, scorpios, horoscope, astrologer, mean, insult, snout, dog nose

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok in the art department Man says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your botched nose job." Asok says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your irrational belief in things that have no scientific basis." Man says, "You sort of hurt my feelings there." Asok says, "Didn't your astrologer warn you about Scorpios?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nose job, question, art department, veterinarian, dog nose, snout, artistic statement, hot, airflow, sit in chairs

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok in the art department Woman says, "Is that a botched nose job, which would be tragic?" Woman says, "Or a bold artistic statement, which would be totally hot?" Asok says, "It started out as a mistake, but I'm keeping it for the improved airflow. How hot is that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nose job, snout, dog nose, health insurance, surgery, veterinarian, career, match looks, engineer, shake hands, art department, medical, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Our policy is to put people in careers that match their looks." Asok says, "I thought that was a coincidence." The Boss says, "Your botched nose job makes you too unconventional to be an engineer." Asok says, "No!" Woman says, "Welcome to the art department." Man says, "Man, I wish I was brave enough to get a snout."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nose job, health insurance, surgery, dog nose, veterinarian, lunch time, eat, engineer, function, rationalize, medical, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I probably shouldn't have gone to a veterinarian for my nose job." Asok says, "But as an engineer, I value function over form, and the airflow is actually quite good." Dilbert says, "You might be rationalizing a little." Asok says, "I pity you with your inefficient nostrils."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nose job, health insurance, surgery, cloth over nose, good deal, veterinarian, dog nose, squirrel, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Our health plan doesn't cover nose jobs, so I used the market system to bargain for a good deal." Asok says, "I learned that a veterinarian is just like a doctor, but cheaper." Asok says, "Do you smell a squirrel?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags training, new software, trick, hire, job opening, interview, technical expert, provide

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need training to use our new software." The Boss says, "Pretend we have a job opening for a technical expert in that field. Then ask applicants how they would do whatever it is that you need to do." Man says, "Does you company provide training?" Dilbert says, "'Provide' is a strong word."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new vice president of engineering, office, lack of experience, revenge, office politics, worry, sabotage, best engineer, 4g, skeptical, false information

View Transcript

Transcript

The New VP The Boss says, "Don't worry that I wanted your job, or that you have no experience in this field." The Boss says, "I won't try to sabotage you. In fact, I'll send you my best engineer to bring you up to speed." Vice President says, "So... it's called 4G because it's G-G-G-Good." Wally says, "Something like that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leg, rope, attached, crony, ceo, job, new boss, qualified, monkey, hammer, hold, suspicious, business, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO says, "This rope is attached to a crony from my last CEO job." CEO says, "Give it a good yank and reel him in. He's your new boss." The Boss says, "Is he qualified for the job?" CEO says, "Like a monkey with a hammer!"