Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 38

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Office Workers

View 371 - 380 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Lower The Price

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lower The Price - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, office, office workers, prices, negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss will yell at me if I don't negotiate a lower price. What can you do for me? Man: I lowered the price by ten percent before I showed it to you. Dilbert: I have no way of verifying your claim. Man: Neither does your boss. Problem solved.

Co2 Scrubbers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Co2 Scrubbers  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, earth, inventions, office workers, plants, technology, humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, I want you to invent a device that can scrub 100% of the CO2 out of the air. Dilbert: 100%??? That would kill every plant in the world. Do you know what that would mean for humans? Boss: Does the answer involve salad?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoidance, irritation, lunch, office workers, relationships, coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You should meet the new guy in marketing. You two would get along great. I'll set up a lunch. Dilbert: Why? Tina: Because he reminds me of you. Dilbert:That isn't a reason. Tina: Okay, he is free tomorrow for lunch. I'll tell him to meet you in the lobby. Dilbert: I still don't see why the three of us need to go to lunch. Tina: It's just the two of you. I'm busy tomorrow. Man: I hear you're a lot like me. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.

Robot Has A Cyborg

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Has A Cyborg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insults, Kids, office workers, robot, technology, smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.

Take The Stairs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Take The Stairs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags birthdays, encouragement, exercise & fitness, health, office, office workers, company, life insurance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.

Ten Year Financial Projections

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ten Year Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget, business, finances, guilt, office, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: How reliable are your ten-year financial projections? Dilbert: They are as reliable as all other ten-year financial predictions. Tina: Okay, good. Dilbert: Why do I feel guilty every time I talk at work?

Tweaking Variables

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tweaking Variables - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, strategy, stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get my five-year projections to match what you told the board. Boss: Try tweaking the variables until they do. Dilbert: That would make me a liar. Boss: Nah. In five years it will look like ordinary stupidity.

Best Product

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, jokes, meetings, office, office workers, sarcasm, presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

New Forms

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Forms - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, money, office, office workers, efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.

Documents On Chairs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Documents On Chairs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustrated, office, office workers, paper

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate it when people leave documents on my chair! I will have my revenge by sticking this at the bottom of my biggest pile. Winning.