Idea Rat Comic Strips - Page 38

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

436 Results for Idea Rat

View 371 - 380 results for Idea Rat comic strips. Discover the best "Idea Rat" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, unemployment, replacement, obsolete, app, job, jobs, dating, logic, business, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

Boss Falls Off Bridge

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Falls Off Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags walking, meeting, meetings, accident, difficult, gimmick, manager, idea, ideas, distraction, Sports, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.

Wally Engineers Something

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Engineers Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags genius, brilliant, idea, thinking, printer, technology, invention, medicine, deception, motivation, innovation, laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you design our robot's 3-D pill printer? Wally: Yup. Dilbert: The design is brilliant, except for the part where the pill drops out of the robot's butt. Why are you suddenly brilliant? Wally: Never had a reason before.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags temper, anger, calm, email, frustration, internet, communication, reaction, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: What the... Dilbert: It's not a good idea to answer email while you're angry. Alice: I know, but this idiot... Dilbert: Hold... That's it. Deep breaths. Hold... Hold... Alice: Phew! You were right. I should not get worked up over one idiot. He wasn't working alone! Dilbert: I'm out.

The Danger Of Sitting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Danger Of Sitting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, office, sitting, chair, health, working, sedentary, danger

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why aren't you working in your cubicle? Wally: Sitting increases my risk of obesity, cardiometabolic disease, cancer, stress, depression, and cognitive dysfunction. Boss: I had no idea sitting was so dangerous. Wally: I know. Imagine if I tried working.

Robot Learns To Procreate

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Learns To Procreate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, mind control, thinking, life, creation, conscience, sentience, manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I figured out how to procreate. Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Robot: I infected you with an idea virus that tells you to build more robots. Boss: Won't work. CEO: Does anyone have an idea for increasing efficiency in our manufacturing process?

Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gender, feminism, technology, Women, obliviousness, bad idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I need you to talk to my daughter's school about careers in stem fields. Wally: Why me? Boss: All the good people are busy. Wally: Fair enough. Boss: We want to fix the gender imbalance. Wally: I'll wear my good shirt.

Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags idea, reality, accuracy, creative accounting, numbers, math, error, excel, spreadsheet, education

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags demands, bosses, unrealistic, frustration, outburst, catch-22, travel, air travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Yoga For Posture

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Yoga For Posture - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags yoga, posture, dating, attraction, Women, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know what to do about my bad posture. Dogbert: Try yoga. Dilbert: Ooh, good idea. That will also improve my odds of meeting an attractive yoga-loving woman. Man: That was my plan too, but the full-stack guys gut here early and scared away the yoga women.