Wally Comic Strips - Page 38
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1000 Results for Wally
View 371 - 380 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 28,
2012
Tags raise, married with children, new family, benefit expenses, laser like focus, procreating
Transcript
Wally: Give me a raise or else I'll get married and have children. My new family would increase your benefit expenses and distract me from my laser-like focus on work. Boss: I will gladly pay extra to prevent you from procreating. Wally: Word it any way you like.
Wednesday April 04,
2012
Tags meetings, late for meeting, reschedule, 10 minutes, late
Transcript
Coworker: I'm sorry I'm a few minutes late for our 10:50 meeting. Wally: We'll have to reschedule because I have another meeting at eleven. Tina: Reschedule? I'm only ten minutes late! Wally: Tell that to my 11:10.
Saturday April 07,
2012
Tags business ethics, agreements, deals, existence, empire, seem larger, paycheck, fair plan, awful world, balckmail, boss, employee
Transcript
Wally: IF you agree to give me no work, I will agree to not sue you with some sort of bogus employee claim. My existence will make your empire seem larger, and stockholders will get stuck with the bill for my paycheck. Boss: Why does that seem like a fair plan? Wally: We live in an awful world.
Sunday April 08,
2012
Tags lunch date, not attracted, technoloigy, only like tech, people are creepy, delivery system, viruses, germs, picture, photoshop, people hater
Transcript
Tina: Wally, do you want to go to lunch? Wally: No, thanks. I"m a digisexual now. Tina: What: Wally: I'm no longer attracted to people. I only like technology. People creep me out. You're basically a delivery system for viruses, germs, and unreasonable favor requests. I'm willing to take a picture of you, but that's as far as I'll go. Tina: This is the most disturbing conversation I've ever had. Wally: Thank goodness for Photoshop.
Monday April 16,
2012
Tags stock market, good investment, bitter, last raise, money
Transcript
Boss: The stock market is up today. I wonder if this is a good time to get in. Dilbert: If you wait until it goes up even further, then you'll know it's a good investment. Wally: Are you still bitter about your last raise? Dilbert: Not as much as I was a minute ago.
Tuesday April 17,
2012
Tags inventions, quantum computer, prototype, success, in between state
Transcript
Boss: How's your quantum computer prototype coming along? Wally: Great! The project exists in a simultaneous state of being both totally successful and not even started. Boss: Can I observe it? Wally: That's a tricky question.
Thursday April 26,
2012
Tags dogs & puppies, service monkey, walking and texting, guide obstacle
Transcript
Dilbert: Hey, Alice, do you have... Dog: She can't hear you. She's walking and texting. That's it... Easy does it. I'll guide you around this obstacle. Dilbert: What did I just see? Wally: I'm saving up for a service monkey.
Friday April 27,
2012
Tags accomodate cup, coffe cup, head flattened, job interview, monkey, surgically flattened, starbucks, barista, animals
Transcript
wally: Tell me why I should hire you as my service monkey, Carl. Carl: I worked as a starbucks barista for eight years and my head has been surgically flattened to stabilize your coffee cup. Dilbert: Impressive. Wally: This is nothing, You should see how well he interviews,
Saturday April 28,
2012
Tags service monkey, questions, respect, monkey, power point slides, animals
Transcript
Carl: Im Wally's service monkey, I'll be fielding any questions directed at wally. The Boss: With all due respect, a business meeting is no place for a monkey. Carl: With all due respect, that was a stronger argument before I saw your powerpoint slides.
Monday April 30,
2012
Tags how-to, great leader, book, errors in book, disgruntled underling, existence, break room
Transcript
Boss: I read a book about how to be a great leader, and realized I don't do any of those things. I'm surprised a book with so many errors could get published. It must have been written by a disgruntled underling. Wally: Do those exist?


