Biggest Problem Comic Strips - Page 38

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443 Results for Biggest Problem

View 371 - 380 results for biggest problem comic strips. Discover the best "Biggest Problem" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #first impression, #culture, #interview, #job interview, #deception, #revenge, #nice, #niceness, #nice people, #business

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Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

Wally Drains Robot

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Wally Drains Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #technology, #murder, #killing, #power, #laziness, #work ethic, #weapon

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Robot: You killed ten thousand medical nanorobots by exposure to your bloodstream. That makes you the biggest mass murderer of robots in history. Gaaa!!! Why is my power supply draining so rapidly? Wally: Run.

Wally's Stress Problem

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Wally's Stress Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stress, #health, #work, #employee, #work ethic, #laziness, #excuse

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Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.

Stress As A Wellness Issue

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Stress As A Wellness Issue - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loophole, #medicine, #health, #stress, #work, #medical leave, #work ethic, #laziness

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Boss: We have a problem. Our employee wellness site lists stress as a medical problem. And working here causes stress. Catbert: How many of them took paid medical leave? Boss: It's just you now. I'm packed.

If All You Have Is A Hammer

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If All You Have Is A Hammer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nail, #problem, #manager, #violence, #hitting, #hit, #hammer, #aphorism

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Boss: Alice, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. [Alice sees the boss as a nail]. Alice: That is not the dumbest thing you have ever said. Boss: Thank you.

Human Crossed The Road

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Human Crossed The Road - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #humor, #ignorance, #technology, #robot, #power, #conscience, #sentience, #obliviousness

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Robot: Why did the human cross the road? Dilbert: I don't know. Robot: Neither did he. Ignorance is a big problem with you people.

After Work Activities

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After Work Activities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #misogyny, #sexism, #camaraderie, #personality, #complaining, #psychology

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Alice: The men never invite me to after-work activities. Catbert: We'll need to find out if the problem is sexism or your personality.Alice: I decided not to dig into it. Boss: I think you'll be happy with your decision.

Software Done Next Week

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Software Done Next Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuse, #laziness, #work ethic

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Boss: Are you any farther along with the software? Wally: I discovered an unexpected problem. That set me back a week. Boss: You say the same thing every week. Wally: No one jumps off a winning horse.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gestures, #etiquette, #male, #Men, #masculinity, #social norms

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Dilbert: I never know the right time to high-five. I feel as if I should automatically know, like a male instinct. For example, when do you initiate a high-five and when do you simply yell "woo-hoo?" Those situations look the same to me. What's my problem? Alice: So many things. But in this specific case, the problem is your total lack of masculinity. Dilbert: High-five?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #advising, #teenagers, #parents, #Parenting, #tattoo, #piercing, #terrorism, #boundaries

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Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.