Budget Process Comic Strips - Page 38
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Character
391 Results for Budget Process
View 371 - 380 results for budget process comic strips. Discover the best "Budget Process" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 06,
2017
Be Creative With Funding
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday June 07,
2017
Ted Complains About Dilbert
Tags #budget, #money, #funding, #creativity, #embezzlement, #fraud
Transcript
Boss: Ted is complaining that you charged your expenses to his project. Dilbert: You told me to be creative because you forgot to fund my project. Boss: I wasn't expecting you to do that. Dilbert: That's what makes it creative. I looked it up.
Friday June 09,
2017
Scavenging For Parts
Tags #friendship, #strategy, #parts, #scavenging, #money, #usury, #budget, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss forgot to fund my project so I've been scavenging for parts. Robot: You usually don't make conversation with me. I guess this means we're friends now. People.
Tuesday July 11,
2017
Unethical Assumptions
Tags #money, #ethics, #misleading, #finances, #budget
Transcript
Boss: Your financial projection doesn't support my preferred strategy. Maybe you could tweak the discount rate to 40%. Dilbert: You're asking me to be unethical. Boss: Only with your assumptions.
Sunday August 27,
2017
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses, #motivation, #projects
Transcript
Boss: I need you to add a feature to the software. Wally: That would be outside the scope of the project. Boss: Yes, but I'm your boss and I'm telling you to do it. Wally: You also told me to only do the things that are documented on the project specs. Boss: Okay, just change the documentation and then do it. Wally: If I do that, the project will be late and over budget. Boss: How many excuses do you have for not doing work? Wally: I'm just getting started. This feature will never work with the others.
Saturday September 02,
2017
Alice Forgives
Tags #revenge, #forgiveness, #bygones, #anger, #vindictive
Transcript
Man: Alice, can you review this for technical accuracy? Alice: No, because six years ago you rolled your eyes when I said something at a meeting. Man: Can you forgive me? Alice: Yes. That process involves not helping you.
Monday October 16,
2017
Initial Coin Offering
Tags #ico, #cryptocurrency, #bitcoin, #jargon, #language
Transcript
Dilbert: Maybe we should do an initial coin offering, or ICO. Boss: What's that? Dilbert: It's a non-equity process for raising capital that uses a custom crypto-currency and the blockchain. I might be wasting my time here. Boss: So... it's a chain made out of coins?
Friday February 16,
2018
Directionally Accurate
Tags #projections, #budget, #finance, #math, #excuse, #compliment, #accuracy, #education, #money
Transcript
Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?
Friday April 27,
2018
Arresting The Rich
Tags #money, #rich people, #arrest, #discrimination, #equality
Transcript
Police Officer: Before I arrest you, I'll need to know your net worth. We have a slightly different process for arresting rich folks. Dogbert: I'm very rich. Police Officer: In that case, I'll wear the handcuffs.
Sunday July 01,
2018
Tags #argument, #arguing, #accusation, #social media, #technology
Transcript
Man: Why did you say we don't have a budget for our project? Dilbert: I never said that. Man: Then why did you say the project isn't feasible? Dilbert: I never said anything like that. Man: But you did say you thought it would take ten years to finish? Dilbert: I've never said anything like that. Man: Hahaha! You're in total meltdown mode now. Dilbert: I already forgot what we were talking about. Boss: How was your talk with Dilbert? Man: He's backpedaling after I totally owned him.