Business People Comic Strips - Page 38

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View 371 - 380 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing campiagn, free samples, worked, decline, intelligence, conclusion, marketing, business

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Dilbert: "My marketing plan involved giving free samples of our cruddy product to celebrity lookalikes." "The fact that it worked caused a steep decline in my respect for the intelligence of people." "In conclusion, there's a fine line between marketing and hating."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, expect raises, bad ratings, reflect poorly, ability to motivate, useless people, feel bad

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: "Don't rate any employees "excellent" because then they'd deserve raises." "Don't give any bad ratings either because it would reflect poorly on your ability to hire and motivate people." The boss: "How will I make the useless people feel bad if I'm rating them "good"?" Catbert: "Try using this scowl."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags associate with, cjhose, associate, lazy people, new guy

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The New Employee "Maybe if I make a friend at work it will reduce my stress hump." "I must choose carefully because I will be judged by the people I associate with." "Hi. I'm the new guy." "The lazy people have found each other."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags no budeget, give raisem, business trip las vegas, four million, bathrub, flooded five floors, bartenders

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The Boss: "Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year." Alice: "Why not?" The boss: "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors." The boss; "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good people quit, wretched, incompetent, lazy

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wally: "Have you ever noticed all of the good people quit?" Dilbert: "There's no one left her bu wretched, incompetent, lazy miscreants" wally: "A-A-nyhoo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags keep spitting, disagree, people, happy, crazy one, men communication

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Dilbert: Do you think it's fair that you keep spitting on me just because you disagree with what I say? Girl: why am I the one who always has to change o make there people happy? Dilbert: Because you're the crazy one. girl: Now you're all quiet, why can't men learn to communicate.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags misleading, financial problems, shady innocent people, personal gain

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Our shareholders are suing us for misleading them about our financial problems. "Since when is it illegal to shaft innocent people for personal gain?" "Don't put that in the minutes." "I'll see what I can do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags underlings, anything useful, little people, deadly accident, vow, in office, listening to little people

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"Carol, don't let the underlings of my underling come into my office." "I can't learn anything useful by listening to the little people." "I renew my vow to lure you into a deadly accident!!" "Whoa! Whoa! Tell it to my underling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags programmers, agile programming, methods, more work, fewer people

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We need three more programmers. "Use agile programming methods." "Agile programming doesn't just mean doing more work with fewer people." "Find me some words that DO mean that and ask again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogberts, selfish cell phone, no number, can bother people, stop bothering me

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"I'm starting Dogbert's Selfish Cell Phone Company." "It has no phone number. You can call people and bother them when they're busy, but they can't do the same to you." "Hi Mom. Oh, nothing. I'm just walking someplace." "STOP BOTHERING ME!"