Eat A Lot Comic Strips - Page 38

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

397 Results for Eat A Lot

View 371 - 380 results for eat a lot comic strips. Discover the best "Eat A Lot" comics from Dilbert.com.

Feedback From Twitter Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Feedback From Twitter Guy  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feedback, #criticism, #social media, #twitter, #tweet, #troll, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any feedback on my idea? Man: Yes. You're weak and stupid, and everyone you love will end up in jail. Dilbert: Do you spend a lot of time on Twitter? Man: Is that a lucky guess or are you spying on me?

How About Lunch

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How About Lunch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #flirting, #rejection, #relationships, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Would you like to have a drink after work? Woman: I don't drink. Dilbert: How about lunch? Woman: I also don't eat. Do you see a pattern yet? Dilbert: You're an android?

Coffee Machine Uses Guilt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coffee Machine Uses Guilt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #alice, #Dilbert, #coffee, #coffee maker, #automatic, #invention, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.

Speaking Truth To Power

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Speaking Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ted, #the boss, #performance review, #perform, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Performance Review The Boss: I've seen a lot of employees in my day, and you are definitely one of them. Ted: Are you saying generic things because you don't know what my job is or how well I performed? The boss: And... You speak truth to power. Ted: Please stop.

Hiring Paul The Criminal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring Paul The Criminal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #job, #market, #competitive, #ex-cons, #work, #criminals, #caught, #paul, #data center, #copper, #wire

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The job market is so competitive that we can't even find ex-cons who want to work here. So we're hiring active criminals who haven't yet been caught. The Boss: Say hello to Paul. Paul: I hear our data center has a a lot of copper wire.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #business, #criticism, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #boss, #complaining, #eating, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need to talk to you about your apple-eating. Dilbert: My what? Boss: Every afternoon you eat an apple at your desk. Your co-workers are complaining because it's loud. They can't work with all of your crispy chewing noise. Dilbert: In my defense, my co-workers are so incompetent that the less work they do, the better off the company is. Boss: That is a surprisingly robust defense. I'll come back if I can think of a counter-argument. Dilbert: Good luck. Crunch.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoidance, #irritation, #lunch, #office workers, #relationships, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You should meet the new guy in marketing. You two would get along great. I'll set up a lunch. Dilbert: Why? Tina: Because he reminds me of you. Dilbert:That isn't a reason. Tina: Okay, he is free tomorrow for lunch. I'll tell him to meet you in the lobby. Dilbert: I still don't see why the three of us need to go to lunch. Tina: It's just the two of you. I'm busy tomorrow. Man: I hear you're a lot like me. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.

Best Product

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #jokes, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Employee Engagement Is Up

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Engagement Is Up - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #questions, #data, #measurement

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And I've improved employee engagement by nineteen percent. CEO: What is employee engagement? Boss: I'm not entirely sure. CEO: Then how do you measure it? Boss: Honestly, I wasn't expecting a lot of questions.