Evil And Lazy Comic Strips - Page 38
Search Filters
Year
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
386 Results for Evil And Lazy
View 371 - 380 results for evil and lazy comic strips. Discover the best "Evil And Lazy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 13,
2016
Tags #app, #developer, #workload, #ideas, #obliviousness, #unrealistic, #goals
Transcript
Tina: I have a great idea for an app. And I choose you to be on my start-up team. I'll be the idea person and you do all of the technology. Dilbert: So... I would be doing 100 percent of the work? Tina: I already did the hard part of coming up with an idea. Your part is just typing. So stop complaining and type me an app. Dilbert: It isn't that easy. Tina: Can you recommend someone less lazy?
Sunday December 04,
2016
Tags #scam, #language, #accent, #communication
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm starting a foreign accent schools for the lazy. People assume you're smarter when you know more than one language. But learning a new language takes too much work. So I'll teach you how to speak your own language with a foreign accent. People will assume you are bilingual at the very least. And when you use bad grammar with a foreign accent it makes you look adorable. You'll never need to do another courtesy laugh, either. People will just assume you didn't get the joke. Dilbert: This is one of your better ideas. Dogbert: You should hear it with an accent!
Thursday November 17,
2016
Followship Training
Tags #leadership, #following, #lazy, #work ethic, #motivation
Transcript
Boss: I'm too busy to take a leaders hip class, so I'm sending all of you to a followship class. Dilbert: Is that so we can learn how to follow someone who never learned to lead? Boss: That sounds like a good question for your followship teacher.
Tuesday March 28,
2017
Wanting More Out Of Life
Sunday August 20,
2017
Tags #human resources, #certification, #listening, #corporations, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Catbert: Don't bother me. I'm studying for a human resources certification. I already have my certifications for sadism and maniacal laughing. And, obviously, I have the basic HR certification for recreational downsizing. If you don't have that one, you can't even get a job in HR. But I need one more certification to make the big bucks. Now run along while I practice my joyless scowling. Dilbert: You talk a lot about yourself. Catbert: I prefer to think of myself as a non-listener.
Saturday November 25,
2017
Threatening Wally
Tags #laziness, #excuse, #threat, #ultimatum
Transcript
Woman: Wally, did you finish the data scrub? Wally: No, a defect in my brain made me too lazy. Woman: Perhaps some sort of threat would get you going. Wally: It's worth a try. Woman: Do your work or else I'll tell everyone you're useless! Wally: That would save me a lot of time.
Monday December 25,
2017
Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle
Tags #technology, #cell phones, #fragile, #aesthetics, #vanity
Transcript
Boss: When you engineer our new mobile phone product, make sure you adhere to the BSB design principle. Dilbert: BSB? Boss: Beautiful, slippery, brittle. Dilbert: Isn't that sort of evil? Boss: It isn't our fault if customers don't buy an ugly case.
Wednesday December 27,
2017
Winning Design Awards
Tags #design, #fragile, #cell phone, #crack, #screen, #evil, #technology
Transcript
Boss: 100 percent of our smartphone buyers dropped and broke their phones within one minute of unboxing them. Despite our slippery materials and brittle design, customers blamed themselves. And we won seven prestigious design awards. CEO: Yes!
Monday February 26,
2018
Dogbert's Personality Profiles
Tags #consultant, #personality, #test, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Dogbert: I have the results of your Dogbert Personality Profiles. Based on your questionnaire answers, Alice is angry, Wally is lazy, and Dilbert is boring. Dilbert: How are we supposed to use this new information? Dogbert: Wake me up when he's done talking.
Monday October 15,
2018
Everyone Else Is Worthless
Tags #Dilbert, #fire, #pawn, #problems, #project, #the boss, #useless, #work
Transcript
The Boss: I'm adding you to the network upgrade project. Everyone else on the team is lazy and useless, so I need you to do all of their work. Dilbert: Maybe you should fire them. The Boss: Don't try to pawn off your problems on me.