Fill In Name Comic Strips - Page 38
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380 Results for Fill In Name
View 371 - 380 results for fill in name comic strips. Discover the best "Fill In Name" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 25,
2020
Hiring Morons And Ted
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #labor, #market, #hire, #moron, #position, #ted talk, #video, #smart
Transcript
boss: the labor market is so tight that i had to hire a moron just to fill a position. my plan is to make him watch ted talk videos until he smartens up. dilbert: how many will it take? boss: with any luck, fifteen to seventeen will get it done.
Sunday May 10,
2020
Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support
Tags #business, #technology, #train, #tech support, #problem, #reboot, #computer, #problem solving, #genius
Transcript
boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!
Saturday June 27,
2020
Credible Data
Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #credible, #data, #problem, #test, #good
Transcript
alice: i finished the data throughput tests, but the results are not credible because of a problem with the test. boss: does the non-credible data make us look good? alice: yes. boss: our name for that kind of data is "credible."
Monday July 06,
2020
Five Pages Of Forms
Tags #salesman, #vendor, #application, #technology, #cancel, #order, #easy, #difficult, #signature
Transcript
vendor salesman: just fill out these five pages of information, and we're good to go. dilbert: no. cancel the order, and i'll find an easier vendor to work with. vendor salesman: in that case, all i need is your signature. dilbert: that worked? continued...
Monday July 27,
2020
No Raise In Years
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #job, #raise, #nine, #years, #face mask, #employment
Transcript
office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.
Monday August 24,
2020
Gaslighting The Boss
Tags #managers & supervisors, #month, #november, #october, #birthday, #family relations, #wife, #gaslight
Transcript
boss: what's the name of the month that comes after october? dilbert: november boss: that's what i thought. my wife is trying to gaslight me so she doesn't have to buy me a birthday present. dilbert: how long has she been doing that? boss: i thought i was 26 years old until just now.
Saturday September 12,
2020
Augmented Reality
Tags #office workers, #business, #introduction, #reality, #glasses, #social media, #history, #impressions, #dumb, #face mask
Transcript
girl: my name is ... dilbert: stop right there. my augmented reality glasses are showing me your entire social media history. girl: i hope it makes a good first impression. dilbert yelling: my god, you are dumb!
Tuesday October 27,
2020
Credit Goes To Boss
Tags #anger, #business, #culture, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #ownership, #report, #technology
Transcript
boss: i realize this report has dilbert's name on it, but the credit goes to me. because i ordered him to do it. dilbert: actually, i came up with the idea and wrote it on my own time. boss: well, i created the culture that made it all possible. dilbert yelling: i did the work!!!
Saturday June 12,
2021
Another Zoom Meeting
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #meetings, #zoom, #scheduled, #emptiness, #soul, #overeating, #Advice
Transcript
dilbert on zoom call with boss. boss: we're having another zoom meeting at 4 p.m. dilbert: what's the topic? boss: its about how i fill the deep emptiness of my soul by scheduling zoom meetings. dilbert: have you tried overeating? that seems to work for me.
Tuesday June 22,
2021
Zoom Background Says A Lot
Tags #Advice, #business, #consultant, #video background, #shelves, #sports trophies, #photo, #jesus, #believability, #sarcasm
Transcript
dogbert: your video call background needs improvement. i'll fill your shelves with sports trophies, plus photos of you shaking hands with jesus. dilbert: who would believe i shook hands with jesus? dogbert: the same people who will believe you won lots of sports trophies.