Full Body Comic Strips - Page 38
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379 Results for Full Body
View 371 - 379 results for full body comic strips. Discover the best "Full Body" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 16,
2019
Slippery Slope
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #slippery, #slope, #approval, #database, #cosmetic, #surgery, #insult
Transcript
dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body
Thursday October 17,
2019
Filled Bathtub To The Attic
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #bathtub, #home, #weekend, #water, #attic, #chimney
Transcript
boss: i forgot i was filling my bathtub and went away for the weekend. now my house is full of water all the way to the attic. i don't know what to do. wally: try putting a hose in the chimney and sucking.
Sunday November 17,
2019
Dilbert Gets A Mentor
Tags #managers & supervisors, #Advice, #mentor, #productivity, #operations, #vice president, #pressure, #trick
Transcript
boss: i heard you asked our v.p. of operations to be your mentor. why didn't you tell me you needed some mentoring? i'm full of useful advice. dilbert: such as? boss: well... not you're putting me on the spot. it's hard to think of advice while you're pressuring me. maybe you could give me a scenario, and then i'll tell you what to do. dilbert: okay, suppose my boss is ruining my productivity by yammering about his great advice. what can i do? boss: that feels like a trick question. dilbert: our v.p. of operations could answer it.
Friday November 29,
2019
Mindless Tasks
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #despondent, #tasks, #mindless
Transcript
dilbert thinking: looks like it will be another full day of interacting with people i wouldn't pull out of a burning car even if i were made of asbestos. my only hope is to stay busy doing mindless tasks. dilbert: do you have any mindless tasks for me? boss: take one from the top of the pile.
Wednesday May 20,
2020
High Fives
Tags #boss, #hygiene, #life, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic, #social distancing
Transcript
Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.
Wednesday May 27,
2020
Boss Is In A High Risk Group
Tags #criticism, #health & safety, #office workers, #sarcasm, #virus, #pandemic, #risk
Transcript
Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.
Monday October 05,
2020
Astrology Filter
Tags #apathy, #Astrology, #business, #incoherent, #sense, #strategic, #technology
Transcript
dilbert looking at laptop: your strategic technology plan was incoherent. i had to run it through an astrology filter to make sense out of it. boss video conferencing: and? dilbert: it says you are "full of taurus" and your plan "is a cancer." boss: sounds right.
Friday December 25,
2020
Can't Tell When He Is Joking
Tags #business, #joking, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #employment, #moon lighting, #work, #video conference
Transcript
dilbert, boss and asok in front of laptop on video conference call. voice from laptop: excuse me. i have to take a call from one of the other employers who also believes i work for them full time from home. boss to dilbert: i can't tell when he's joking. dilbert: that's probably for the best.
Sunday March 07,
2021
Fired For Social Media
Tags #social media, #business, #technology, #employment, #fire, #offensive, #bad, #people, #twitter, #issues, #context, #sides, #associate, #monsters
Transcript
boss: dilbert: i need to fire you for your social media activities. dilbert: did i say something offensive? boss: i'm getting reports that you follow bad people on twitter. dilbert: i follow people on both sides of every issue so i can see the full context. boss: that might sound good on paper, but half of the people you follow are monsters of one sort or another. dilbert: isn't it obvious that enforcing this kind of standard can only lead in a bad direction. boss: no, i don't see that at all. all i see is that you associate with people who are monsters. ceo to boss: i'm getting reports that you follow dilbert on twitter.