Great Cup Holder Comic Strips - Page 38
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433 Results for Great Cup Holder
View 371 - 380 results for great cup holder comic strips. Discover the best "Great Cup Holder" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 26,
2015
Wally Thinks Twice As Hard
Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #motivation, #trick, #deception, #excuse, #lazy, #energy, #con, #health
Transcript
Wally: I'm working twice as hard as ever before. Most of it is happening inside my head. But trust me, my brain is working double-time. Boss: Um... that's great. Wally: Obviously, I need to work fewer hours because of the energy drain.
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Monday November 02,
2015
Wally Resists The Tyranny Of Productivity
Tags #useless, #laziness, #productivity, #flaw, #strength, #health
Transcript
Wally: Some people say uselessness is a character flaw. I see it as the natural result of mindful resistance to the tyranny of productivity. Dilbert: Where do you think food comes from? Wally: From my critics. It's a great system.
Monday November 16,
2015
The Boss Had A Great Weekend
Tags #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #Fun, #weekend, #listening, #frustration, #fair, #fairness, #equality, #business
Transcript
Boss: Wow, I had an amazing weekend at my mountain cabin. Wine, friends, food, and amazing views! Dilbert: I worked all weekend because you said you would fire me if I didn't get this done by your arbitrary deadline. Boss: You're a terrible listener.
Sunday December 06,
2015
Tags #logic, #reasoning, #managing, #managers, #leadership, #quality, #absurd
Transcript
Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.
Saturday January 02,
2016
That's Motivation Not Stalking
Tags #compliment, #managers, #jargon, #sincerity, #insincere, #motivation, #motivate, #annoyance, #frustration
Transcript
Boss: Alice, you're doing a great job and the company values you. Alice: Your insincere management babble is making me uncomfortable. Boss: That's motivation you're feeling. Alice: I'm getting more of a stalker vibe.
Sunday April 17,
2016
Tags #management, #honesty, #competition, #criticism
Transcript
Boss: Why are our competitors beating us on the benchmark speed tests? Do they have better engineers? Dilbert: No, they have better management. Their management probably got them the budget they needed to do the job right. I"m guessing they were helpful, instead of being useless, blamecasting time-wasters. I hear you can do a lot when you have good management. I'll probably try to get a job with a competitor. They sound great. It is also possible they lied about their benchmark results. Boss: You should have said that first!
Wednesday March 23,
2016
Rat With An Ear On His Back
Tags #biology, #experiment, #human tissue, #lab, #rat, #regeneration, #science, #technology, #guest artist, #joel friday
Transcript
Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."
Friday March 25,
2016
Duplicating Effort
Tags #management, #productivity, #absent mindedness, #forgetful, #duplicate
Transcript
Boss: Great update, Ted. Now let's hear what Dilbert did this week. Dilbert: I unnecessarily duplicated Ted's work because you forgot you asked bot of us to do the same task. Boss: And how about Alice? Alice: You're three for three.
Saturday June 11,
2016
Tina's Criticism
Tags #work spouse, #wife, #wives, #criticism, #nagging, #Women, #relationships
Transcript
Tina: As your work wife, I have some constructive criticism for you. Dilbert: Great. Tina: You'd be more attractive if you were taller, I just realized I don't know the difference between constructive criticism and the regular kind.
Wednesday July 20,
2016
Dilbert Fits It All In One Slide
Tags #irrational, #demands, #managers, #powerpoint, #nonsense
Transcript
Dilbert: It took me a hours to figure out how to fit everything you wanted into one slide. Boss: That's great. Now add in some stuff about the budget, our risks, and all of our competition. And keep it all on one slide. Dilbert: Have you ever listened to the noise coming from your mouth?