Hair On Fire Comic Strips - Page 38

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

388 Results for Hair On Fire

View 371 - 380 results for hair on fire comic strips. Discover the best "Hair On Fire" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wife Versus Wifi

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wife Versus Wifi - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #typo, #overreaction, #wife, #wi-fi, #offense, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I want you to fire Dilbert for insulting my wife in his slide deck. Boss: The presentation was about wi-fi, not your wife. CEO: In my defense, they're both spotty.

Haircut On Company Times

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Haircut On Company Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hair, #haircut, #time, #break

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, do you have a minute? Wally: No. I have to get a haircut. Boss: You can't get a haircut on company time. Wally: I'm only cutting the hairs that grew on company time. Boss: How do you know which ones grew on company time? Wally: It's always hairs three and five.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #co-workers, #phone calls, #cubicle, #breaks, #flow, #Food, #smells, #break, #room, #pretending, #thermostat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My co-workers make it impossible to work. I hear every one of their phone calls. It's maddening. When they walk past my cubicle it breaks my flow. And don't get me started about the food smells coming from the break room. They ask me one dumb question after another. I don't know who keeps turning up the thermostat. But it's too hot to think. The Boss: Would it help if I threaten to fire you? Dilbert: It's worth a try I'll be in my cubicle pretending to work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #engineering, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #schedule

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.

Contacting The Alien Probe

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Contacting The Alien Probe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aliens, #communication, #earth, #space, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're ready to fire up our laser communication technology to contact the alien probe heading to Earth. Boss: Is the alien probe unmanned? Dilbert: It is now.

Firing Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #panic, #suspicious

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, come to my office at five o'clock. Ted: Gaaa!!! That's what you say when you plan to fire people! Boss: Don't be ridiculous. Also, bring your keys.

Offensive Product Name

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Offensive Product Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #insults, #office, #office workers, #elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.

Layoff Package

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

Half Are Doing All The Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Half Are Doing All The Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #employment, #fire, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: according to experts, about half of all employees are typically doing 100% of the work. i plan to beat the system by firing half of you. dilbert: wouldn't you need to keep firing half of whoever was left until you were down to one employee? boss: yes, but imagine how hard he will work.

Can't Succeed Within The Rules

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can't Succeed Within The Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #rules, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: if i follow all of our internal rules, my project will fail because of delays. and if i don't follow the rules, you will fire me. what should i do? boss: i like the option where the project is a success but you're a failure.