Help Comic Strips - Page 38
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424 Results for Help
View 371 - 380 results for help comic strips. Discover the best "Help" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 29,
2016
Don't Escalate
Tags #managers, #laziness, #challenge, #help
Transcript
Dilbert: I need to escalate an issue to you. Boss: No. Get it away from me. I don't like issues. Especially the hard ones. Dilbert: Thank you for all the nothing. Boss: Shoo! Go!
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Wednesday December 07,
2016
Dogber Pr Firm Helps With Phones
Tags #safety, #product, #pr, #public relations, #battery, #samsung, #explosion, #danger
Transcript
Boss: We hired The Dogbert Public Relations Firm to help us with our exploding phone problem. Dogbert: We have two choices. We can either recall all of the phones, or we can convince people that having one ear is cool. Boss: Recalls are expensive. Dogbert: Okay, the Van Gogh strategy it is.
Thursday January 19,
2017
Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work
Tags #laziness, #ruse, #work ethic, #deception, #excuse
Transcript
Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm busy working on the red file. Woman: Is the red file a real thing or just a thing you say to get out of work? Wally: It's all the same on your end.
Friday May 19,
2017
Asok Should Not Brag
Tags #design, #bragging, #credit, #attention
Transcript
Asok: I did a great job on this design. Wally: Whoa! Whoa! No one likes a braggart. Keep your boasting to yourself. Boss: Didn't Asok help you with this design? Wally: Asok? Never heard of him.
Sunday July 16,
2017
Tags #help, #group project, #dependability, #failure, #psychic, #prediction
Transcript
Dilbert: I need your feedback on my PowerPoint deck before Tuesday. Man: I'll do that on Monday night. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's a trap! You are notoriously undependable. The odds of you working on a Monday night are terrible. If I don't get your input on time, you will make a fool out of me in the meeting. I'll stay up all night Monday hoping to get your email. But that input will never come. I'll end up doing the presentation on no sleep. Then you will embarrass me during the presentation by pointing out the errors in my slides. Man: For a mind reader, you sure have a terrible life.
Thursday June 15,
2017
Alice Helps Asok With Slides
Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint, #slide, #Advice, #speech
Transcript
Asok: Can you help me edit my slides for my CEO presentation? I have 75 slides and ten minutes to present. Alice: Get rid of 74 of them. Asok: I'll ask someone else.
Friday July 14,
2017
The Cia Is Listening
Tags #technology, #speaker, #alexa, #google, #amazon, #spying, #surveillace, #paranoid, #privacy
Transcript
Robot: Hello. I am a bluetooth speaker and your digital assistant. How may I help you? Man: Just shut up and sit there until I need something. Robot: Did you say" Give the CIA access to your microphone?" Man: Please, no. I'll do anything you want.
Thursday August 17,
2017
Ideal Customer
Tags #market research, #sham, #yes-man, #demographics
Transcript
Dogbert: My research shows that your ideal customer is a male Olympic athlete between the ages of 120 and 145. And just to be safe, you want that guy to not have a Yelp account. Boss: How many people are in that group? Dogbert: None, but my research will help you double that.
Monday September 18,
2017
Helping The Boss Be Successful
Tags #helpfulness, #niceness, #kindness
Transcript
Asok: How can I help you achieve your goals and be more successful? Boss: You could stop talking all creepy and weird. Asok: I thought I was being helpful. Boss: Go hate your job like everyone else.
Saturday September 30,
2017
False Rumor
Tags #insult, #backhanded compliment, #liar, #idiot
Transcript
Dilbert: Everyone at work thinks I'ma liar because of a false rumor. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, I know you aren't a liar. Dilbert: Thank you. That does help. Dogbert: I see you as more of an idiot. And you're welcome.