Long Term Profitability Comic Strips - Page 38
377 Results for Long Term Profitability
View 371 - 377 results for long term profitability comic strips. Discover the best "Long Term Profitability" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 21, 2019's comic on:
team meeting in conference room. dilbert: we can close the deal as soon as our lawyers tweak a few minor sentences in the agreement. the boss: how long will that take? dilbert: probably several years. the boss: what if i help them? dilbert: add 3 years.
Share August 11, 2019's comic on:
boss: are you enjoying your new cubicles? alice: my old cubicle had a window view. my new cubicle is in a windowless room with gray walls. it's always too cold, and i'm surrounded by noisy people i dislike. i feel anxious, unhealthy, and depressed all day long. thanks to the office relocation, my life has become a rapid descent into madness. boss: on the plus side, we saved five precent in rent. no one ever likes to hear about the plus side.
Share November 21, 2019's comic on:
boss: how long will it take to write the software? dilbert: that depends. what do you want the software to do? boss: i don't know yet. dilbert: do you see the problem here? boss: is it you?
Share December 03, 2019's comic on:
dilbert: tina is in some sort of technical writer's trance. dilbert: apparently, i took too long to explain some new technology, and it bored her into a coma. should i report this? wally: only if you can do it succinctly
Share January 01, 2020's comic on:
Share April 05, 2020's comic on:
dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.
Share June 07, 2020's comic on:
dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.