Nothing Happening Comic Strips - Page 38
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388 Results for Nothing Happening
View 371 - 380 results for nothing happening comic strips. Discover the best "Nothing Happening" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 19,
2018
Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag
Tags #alice, #the boss, #asok, #Wally, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #addicted, #apps, #fortnite, #slept, #losers, #podcast
Transcript
Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because I'm addicted to apps on my phone. I haven't slept in three days because of my "Fortnite" habit. The Boss: What about the rest of you losers? Asok: Shhh. I got a one-ear podcast going here.
Sunday October 07,
2018
Tags #Dilbert, #man, #criticizing, #face, #head, #arrogance, #toxic, #personality, #garbage, #plague, #legs, #truth, #power, #behind, #back
Transcript
Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.
Tuesday November 06,
2018
Speakerphones
Tags #boss, #criticism, #distraction, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #phone call, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because my idiot co-workers continue to use their speakerphones in the office. This is compounded by the fact that my idiot boss doesn't allow me to work from home. If you need me, I'll be sitting in my cubicle doing nothing but waiting for other people's phone calls to end.
Monday December 31,
2018
New Year Resolution
Tags #holidays, #new year, #sarcasm, #weight, #new year's resolutions
Transcript
Carol: Do you have any New Year's resolutions? Dilbert: I resolve to not make major decisions about my life based on random calendar dates. Carol: So...nothing about your weight? Dilbert: Worst holiday ever.
Tuesday January 01,
2019
New Year's Day
Tags #holidays, #new year's day, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: Happy random calendar date. I'll be celebrating by doing nothing fun or useful all day because everything is closed. Dogbert: You could visit your mom. Dilbert: How's that different from what I just said?
Thursday January 17,
2019
Sarcasm Empty Vessel
Tags #jokes, #office workers, #sarcasm, #millennial, #smartphone
Transcript
Man: Wow, that's a great idea. Let's just do that! LOL! Dilbert: I've noticed that you are nothing but an empty vessel for transporting sarcasm. Man: Oooh! I'm such an empty vessel! LOL! Dilbert: I don't know what to do with all of this.
Wednesday January 23,
2019
No Recognisiton
Tags #addiction, #office workers, #social media, #video games, #expectations
Transcript
Man: Video games and social media have made me addicted to artificial success. But here in the real world, I do not receive the recognition I so crave. Dilbert: That's because all you do is play video games and use social media. Man: See? I'm getting nothing.
Sunday February 24,
2019
Tags #communication, #conversation, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #marriage, #relationships
Transcript
Boss: My wife is the smart one in the family. Everything I know about management I learned from her. Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: Whatever. Dilbert: Whatever? Are you mad at me? Boss: No, not at all. Everything is fine. Dilbert: If you have a problem with me, why don't you just tell me? Boss: It's nothing. Carol: She taught you well.
Friday February 15,
2019
Old Sayings
Tags #boss, #email, #insult, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #sayings
Transcript
Dilbert: I discovered I can insult our boss if I make it sound like an old saying. He thinks all old sayings are wise. Wally: Here he comes. Boss: Did you read my email? Dilbert: A man who sends email has nothing to say.
Sunday March 10,
2019
Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #government, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #math, #ocean, #research, #sarcasm, #science, #temperature, #tests
Transcript
Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.