Office Equipment Comic Strips - Page 38
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1000 Results for Office Equipment
View 371 - 380 results for office equipment comic strips. Discover the best "Office Equipment" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 24,
1998
Tags new customer, top 5 compnaies, low price, high margins
Transcript
An employee comes into the Boss' office with a man and says, "I'd like you to meet our newest customer." The Boss says, "You won't be sorry; we're one of the top five companies in this field." The customer turns to the employee and says, "I thought you said no one else makes this kind of product." The Boss interjects, "No one else makes one with so few features." The employee grimaces as the customer asks, "So...your strategy is low price, right?" The Boss replies, "No, high margins!" The customer grabs the employee by the collar and begins to choke him, screaming, "YOU!!" The employee's feet are propped up on the Boss' desk as the Boss thinks to himself, "I'd better ask someone what a 'margin' is."
Sunday June 21,
1998
Tags fast email, boss confused, priorities, program compiling, weasel, Dilbert, ignore email, winning argument important
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk in front of his computer, looking at his watch. The Boss says, "What the...?" The Boss goes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "You respond too quickly to my e-mail." The Boss continues, "Obviously, you aren't focusing on priorities." Dilbert turns and replies, "I do e-mail while my program is compiling." The Boss says, "You can't weasel out of this with your technical mumbo jumbo." Dilbert says, "You win. I'll ignore your e-mail from now on." The Boss walks back to his office and thinks, "The important thing is that I win." The Boss sits in front of his computer and thinks, "I wonder if MY programs ever compile."
Monday January 04,
1999
Tags Catbert, director, co workers, sadistic, big nut, party, spinach dip
Transcript
Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director" Catbert has the sadistic nut in his office. Catbert says, "Your co-workers say you're a sadistic nut." Catbert says, "Gimme five, you big nut! and keep up the good work!" Catbert says, "Hey, I'm having a party on Saturday. Can you make it?" The sadistic nut says, "Sure! I'll bring my spinach dip."
Saturday January 09,
1999
Tags exceeded expectations, top rating, aims, harpoon
Transcript
Alice sits in the boss' office. The boss says, "Alice, your performance exceeded all expectations this year." The boss says, "But I'm not giving you a top rating because I want you to have something to shoot for." The boss says, "It's always good to have something to shoot for." Alice walks away. Alice says, "Stay here while I get my harpoon."
Tuesday January 26,
1999
Tags carol on phone, yell kids, key to cabinet, supply cabinet, cheetah, panda, jungle, office
Transcript
Dilbert peers over his cubicle wall. Dilbert thinks, "As usual, Carol is on the phone yelling at her kids." Wally also peers over his partition. Dilbert thinks, "I wait, like a cheetah, for a chance to ask her for the key to the supply cabinet." Dilbert says, to Wally, "Are you waiting like a cheetah?" Wally says, "I'm more of a panda."
Thursday February 04,
1999
Tags immense ego, seems normal, decided, doctor, determine lives, dies, die from ulcer, enjoy challenge, medical
Transcript
Dogbert dressed in a crown and sceptar stands by Dilbert's computer. Dogbert says, "I need a job where my immense ego seems normal." Dogbert says, "I've decided to be a doctor. I will determine who lives and who dies!" Dogbert is in a doctor's office. He still wears the crown and has a stethoscope around his neck. A man in boxer shorts says, "What? I can't die from an ulcer!" Dogbert says, "Maybe not, but I enjoy the challenge."
Tuesday February 23,
1999
Tags salary budget, shouldn't have hired, furniture budget, credenza, lamp, operates as credenza
Transcript
Allen (aka the sacrificial lamb) stands in the boss' office. The boss says, "Allen, I have to cut the salary budget. I probaly shouldn't have hired you yesterday." The boss says, "Luckily, I have extra money in the furniture budget." Allan rest on all fours with a lamp on his back. allan thinks, "As God is my witness, someday I will be a credenza."
Wednesday February 24,
1999
Tags Catbert, hr director, boss treats, furniture, dangerous predent, new position, tried crounching
Transcript
Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director" Allan is in Catbert's office. He has a lapm strapped to his back. Allan says. "My boss treats me like furniture." Catbert says, "I'd help you, but it might set a dangerous precedent." Allan says, "I need a new position." Catbert says, "Have you tried crouching?"
Saturday March 06,
1999
Tags god hates pople, coffee tastes better, stir with finger, lonely religion
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert are in the office kitchen getting coffee. Wally says, "I believe God created the earth because he hates people." Wally says, "And I believe coffee tastes better if you stir it with your finger." Dilbert says, "It sound like a lonely religion." Wally says, "They all start that way."
Thursday March 25,
1999
Tags wife had baby, a moron, foster care, first instinct
Transcript
A man walks up to Dilbert and Wally in the office kitchen. The man says, "My wife had a baby!" Wally says, "I hope it's not a moron." Dilbert says, "Have you looked into foster care?" Dilbert says, "Maybe we shouldn't have gone with our first instinct." Wally says, "We meant well."


