Using Cell Phones Comic Strips - Page 38

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

395 Results for Using Cell Phones

View 371 - 380 results for using cell phones comic strips. Discover the best "Using Cell Phones" comics from Dilbert.com.

Catbert Personality Test

Thank you for voting.
Catbert Personality Test - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #applicants, #personality, #test, #reliable, #Astrology, #reliability

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: All job applicants must take the Catbert personality test to see how well they will fit into our culture. Studies show the test is twice as reliable as using astrology alone. Man: Astrology has zero reliability. Catbert: You're not a good fit.

Winning The Nasa Contract

Thank you for voting.
Winning The Nasa Contract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2018's comic on:


Tags #aliens, #attack, #communication, #earth, #space, #nasa

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: NASA has detected an alien probe heading for earth. We won the NASA contract to contact the aliens using a focused laser beam. Dilbert: Wouldn't that look to them like an attack? Boss: Maybe that's why do one else bid.

Ai Is Stupid For An Hour

Thank you for voting.
Ai Is Stupid For An Hour - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #robot, #sarcasm, #social media, #stupidity, #technology, #twitter, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Your so-called breakthrough in artificial intelligence is a fraud. I talked to it for an hour, and everything it said was stupid. Wait...that's the same as using Twitter. Dilbert: Is it too soon to call me a genius?

Robot Has A Cyborg

Thank you for voting.
Robot Has A Cyborg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #insults, #Kids, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #government, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #math, #ocean, #research, #sarcasm, #science, #temperature, #tests

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.

Old Time Chair

Thank you for voting.
Old Time Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #chair, #office, #office workers, #ergonomics

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: are you still using an old-time chair? office worker: i sit on a giant rubber ball because of all the ergonomics and stuff. office worker yelling: i'm better than you!!! dilbert: i wondered if there was a summary coming.

Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair

Thank you for voting.
Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #ergonomic ball chair

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i fell off my ergonomic ball chair and broke my back. dilbert: i guess you'll be using a normal chair from now on. office worker yelling: i'm not a quitter! office worker on floor: maybe i'll give quitting a chance.

Using Git

Thank you for voting.
Using Git - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #code, #developer

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm hearing that none of your code has been implemented. why are you so unproductive? dilbert: your new lead developer doesn't know how to use git and he keeps overwriting my patches. the boss: i don't know what any of that means. dilbert: well, thank you for stopping by.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #cell phone, #managers & supervisors, #message, #office, #squirrels

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss to dilbert: ...and then i need you to... notification sound from dilbert's phone. the boss: don't do it. don't check that message. dilbert: but it might be important. the boss: it isn't more important than listening to your boss. dilbert: i have no way of knowing that. dilbert yelling: look! there's a squirrel on the printer! the boss turns around: i don't see a squirrel. the boss: did you check your phone? dilbert: was i suppose to just sit here and watch you looking for squirrels?

Touch Base With Carl

Thank you for voting.
Touch Base With Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: can you reach out to carl and touch base? dilbert: can you restate that using normal words? the boss: i could, but then it would feel as if i'm not managing you.