Wish Hard Comic Strips - Page 38
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377 Results for Wish Hard
View 371 - 377 results for wish hard comic strips. Discover the best "Wish Hard" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 30,
2021
Dogbert The Bitcoin Billionaire
Tags #business, #pandemic, #billionaire, #covert, #plan, #rule, #planet, #progress, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: this pandemic has been hard for all of us. dogbert: not me. i became a bitcoin billionaire and made progress on my covert plan of ruling over the planet. dilbert: why am i just hearing this? dogbert: because i'm good at it.
Thursday February 04,
2021
Wally's Success
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #track, #success, #work, #correlation, #working, #sarcasm, #unproductive
Transcript
wally: i've been tracking my successes at work relative to my efforts, and i see no correlation. so if you see me not working hard, you should assume everything is fine. boss: you've never had a success to track. wally: i was hoping you didn't know that.
Saturday February 20,
2021
Tricking Employees
Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #reward, #business, #performance, #punish, #good, #bad, #work, #tricking, #employment
Transcript
catbert to boss: you've tried rewarding good performance and punishing bad. but have you tried tricking employees into working hard? boss: no, can you teach me? catbert to asok: remember, hard work is its own reward. asok: is it?
Friday March 12,
2021
Deep Fake Zoom
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video conference, #zoom, #call, #deep fake, #program, #generic, #employee, #work, #sarcasm, #cell phone, #laptop
Transcript
dilbert looking at phone on couch at home. dogbert: i thought you said you had a zoom call that would last for hours today. dilbert: i built a "deep fake" version of myself to take zoom calls and say generic employee stuff. next slide is boss in from of laptop on video call. boss: dilbert, do you have anything to add? dilbert: i don't know if i'm working hard or hardly working. har-har!
Saturday March 13,
2021
Disinfecting Keyboard
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #fire, #software, #vendors, #disinfect, #keyboard, #random, #message, #accident, #mistake
Transcript
dilbert: i fired all of our software vendors and erased my hard drive as you ordered. boss holding bottle of disinfectant: really? i was disinfecting my keyboard, and i must have sent you a random message by accident. oops.
Wednesday June 09,
2021
Deleting Before Audit
Tags #business, #business ethics, #auditor, #suspect, #delete, #database, #believe, #incriminating, #hide
Transcript
internal auditor: i find it hard to believe you "accidentally" deleted a database just as i arrived. it makes me suspect you tried to hide something incriminating. boss: sounds like reasonable doubt to me.