Employees Comic Strips - Page 39

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579 Results for Employees

View 381 - 390 results for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, work ethic, wifi enabled, bus, commute from san fransico, business

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Dilbert: Google provides a wi-fi enabled bus for its employees to commute from San Francisco. Why can't we be more like that? Boss: You want to be more like a bus? Dilbert: I found the problem.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, employees, violence, contradcited, meeting, fist of death, robots, no legal rights, cardio, oiled my pan, business

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Alice: You contradicted me in a meeting today and I didn't appreciate it. I'm no allowed to use my fist of death on humans, but you robots have no legal rights. It's not personal. This is how I get my cardio. Robot: I just oiled my pan.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, meeting, miss step, mole hired, reporting, chilling effect, business

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RAtBert: I'm the official department mole. I'll be reporting your every misstep to your pointy-haired boss. Dilbert: Won't this have a chilling effect on our creativity and honesty?" RatBert: That didn't take long.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags moral compass damaged, vice president, miserable and helpless, actual job

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A man says, "It has come to my attention that your moral compass is damaged." The man says, "I'm promoting you to vice president of making employees feel miserable and helpless." Dilbert says, "That's an actual job?" The man says, "It doesn't happen on its own."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new job, miserable and helpless, Women, attracted to men, salary ranges, trophy wives, carnival skanks

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Dilbert's moral compass is damaged. Dilbert says, "My new job is to make employees feel miserable and helpless." Dilbert says, "Here's a chart that shows the sort of women that are attracted to men at various salary ranges." Dilbert says, "Trophy wives are at the top, obviously, and down in your range we have the carnival skanks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags keep disagreeing, great minds, think alike, arrogant

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The Boss says, "My smartest employees keep disagreeing with me." The Boss says, "Which is weird because great minds usually think alike. They must be slipping." The Boss says, "Sometimes I think I'm not arrogant enough."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dress code, office, office workers, company shirts, casual freidays, lower self esteem, stop complaining, industry average, feel overpaid

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Catbert: I modified the dress code to require wearing company shirts on casual Fridays. That should lower our employees' self-esteem until they stop complaining about earning less than the industry average. Dilbert: Why do I feel overpaid today?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appreciation, lunch, employee appreciation lunch, $35 a piece, one isn't paying, figured out

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The boss: Okay, the bill for the employee appreciation lunch comes out to $35 apiece. Alice: That only adds up if one of us isn't paying. The boss: The employees figured out why I appreciate taking them to lunch.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, dehumanizing, easier to downsize, employees, insulting nickname, meeting, osama, rudeness, enemy, business

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The Boss says, I have assigned a secret insulting nickname to each of you." The Boss says, "It's my way of dehumanizing the enemy so it will be easier to downsize you." Ted says, "The enemy?" The Boss says, "That's enough out of you, Osama."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, letter, ceo, reading, good fortune, share, winery, wine, angry, helicopters, human chess board, frighten, dwarves, business

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The Boss says, "Our CEO wants to share his good fortune with all employees." The Boss says, "He invites all of you to visit his winery and buy his non-award-winning wine at nearly retail prices." The Boss says, "He asks that you not park your helicopters near his human chess board because it frightens the dwarves."