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Alice says, to the boss, "As requested, I did a "risk management" assessment." Alice points to a picture of the boss with a zero over his head. Alice says, "I concluded that there was no risk of any management." Alice says, "Do you have anything to add?" The boss says, "I'll get back to you."
The boss stick his head into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Do you have those budget numbers from last months?" Dilbert says, "They're totally innaccurate." The boss says, "I know but those are the only numbers we have." Dilbert says, "Actually we have infinite inaccurate numbers to choose from." The boss says, "Let's keep those in our back pocket in case we need them." Dilbert says, "I'll encrypt them so no one else can use them."
Caption "Dogbert Consults" Dogbert hands the boss a spray can. dogbert says, "Spray this Teflon on your body to better ignore the input of your subordinates." The boss sprays. The boss now has a pan for a head. Dogbert says, "Next time, shake well before useing." The boss says, "Who cares what you say?!"
Dilbert is at the checkout counter of clothes store. The cashier has her hand over her name tag. Dilbert thinks, "She's hiding her name tag so I won't get friendly with her." dilbert reaches into a sack and thinks, "I'll toss these fake babies in the air. When she catches them, I'll see her name and start flirting." The cashier catches one baby, the other lands on her head as her hand remains on her name tag. Dilbert thinks, "Dang! I knew I should have brought a third fake baby."
Dilbert walks in apark holding two plastic babies. A girl walks by Dilbert with a heart over her head. Dilbert thinks, "These fake rubber babies will make me a chick magnet." A fly bzzz past. Dilbert hits the fly against a tree with one of the babies. Dilbert thinks, "Stupid fly." The women looks horrified. Dilbert says, "It's tough love."
The boss says to Asok, "Asok, I'm moving you to my "quality assurance" group." Asok gasps. The boss says, "I realize this is bad for you... and bad for the company... but it solves my headcount problem." Asok eats lunch with Dilbert and Wally. Asok says, "Will that be my conreibution to the world: "He solved a headcount problem'?" Wally says, "That tops me."
Dogbert wears a crown and wand and stands in the doorway of the boss' office. Dilbert, Wally and Alice look through the window. Dogbert says, "I'm here to perform an exorcism." The boss opens his mouth wide and says, "Your mother implements multi-vendor processes without synergy!!" Dogbert points his wand to the boss' coffee cup and says, "Here's the problem someone gave you this oversized coffee mug." The boss says, "Reorg!!!" and his head starts to spin.
Caption: "Dogbert in Hollywood" Dogbert sits at a restaurant table across from a naked movie executive wearing a goatee, glasses and boxer shorts on his head. The mogul says, "I'd like to turn your book into a movie." The executive says, "We have to keep it real, so any normal person can relate to it." Dogbert says, "do you know any normal people?" The movie man says, "No, but I'm willing to watch movies to learn about them."
The Boss sits in a meeting. The boss says, "Reorganizing didn't work. We're going to try something new." The boss says, "Synergystic realignment!" Wally and Dilbert look at Asok who stands with his hands over his head. Dilbert says, "What did I tell you about doing "the wave"?" Asok says, "I got swept up in the emotion."
Caption: "Catbert"evil hr Director" Tina sits in catbert's office. Catbert says, "Tina, you are accused of shooting the CIO's credenza five times." Catbert scribbles with a pencil on a piece of paper and says, "I'm writing "Tina was bad" on this cardboard. I order you to attach it to a special hat for two weeks." Tina wears a hat with a stick that hangs over her head. The sign hangs off the stick. Dilbert says, "How did it go?" Tina says, "I got a suspended sentence."