Idea Is Ridiculous Comic Strips - Page 39

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431 Results for Idea Is Ridiculous

View 381 - 390 results for idea is ridiculous comic strips. Discover the best "Idea Is Ridiculous" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analogy, #hyperbole, #exaggeration

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Dilbert: Once we have all of the vendors' bids, we will pick the best one. Man: Oh, great, so you're saying we should be exactly like serial killers? Dilbert: Uh... what? Man: Serial killers also choose their victims. Can't you see the warning flags here? You're basically promoting murder. Dilbert: That is literally the most ridiculous and unhelpful analogy of all time. I doubt you could come up with a worse analogy, no matter how hard you tried. Man: Hitler said something like that before invading Poland. Boss: Good point.

Ted Promoted To Software Architect

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Ted Promoted To Software Architect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #Promotion, #intelligence, #logic, #obliviousness

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Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.

Focus Groups Are Unreliable

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Focus Groups Are Unreliable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #focus groups, #strategy, #logic

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Dilbert: Our focus groups don't like our new product idea. Boss: No problem. Focus groups aren't reliable. Dilbert: Why do we pay for unreliable information? Boss: We can't afford the other kind.

Soul Killing Tasks

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Soul Killing Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #pleasure, #toil, #fulfillment, #engagement

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Dilbert: Hey, I have a great idea. Maybe I could work on interesting projects instead of the soul-killing tasks you always assign to me. Boss: Why would I pay you for enjoying yourself? Dilbert: I was not prepared for that question.

Too Dumb To Understand

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Too Dumb To Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #intelligence, #ego

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Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: That's because you're too dumb to understand it. My idea would look brilliant if you were sixty percent smarter. Man: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: That's consistent with my hypothesis.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

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Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Dogbert The Loan Shark

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Dogbert The Loan Shark   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loan, #loan shark, #money, #racket, #interest

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Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.

Success Diminishes Other Guy

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Success Diminishes Other Guy   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #diminshed, #support, #stab me, #great deas, #discussion, #argument

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Ted: Your idea is great, but I plan to oppose it because I feel diminished by the success of others. Dilbert: Maybe you could support it now and then stab me in the back later. Ted: That's two great ideas you've had today. Dilbert: thank you.

Absurd Absolute

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 Absurd Absolute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software upgrade, #idiot, #absurd absolute, #admit when wrong, #eaten unicorn

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You're an idiot if you think the software upgrade will solve every one of our problems. Dilbert: Or are you an idiot for characterizing my reasonable idea as an absurd absolute? Why cant you admit when you're wrong? Dilbert: Same reason you've never eaten a unicorn.

Wally Pivots

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Wally Pivots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #projects

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Wally: My project was failing, so I pivoted to a different idea with the same name. Later, I'll change the project name to cover my tracks. Asok: What about your sunk costs? Wally: Gone like footprints in the sands of time.