Ceo Comic Strips - Page 39

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

627 Results for Ceo

View 381 - 390 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags key to success, follow instinct, slap you, stop babbling, relax, good feelings, slap

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The key to success is to follow your instinct. Alice: My instinct tells me to slap you until you stop babbling nonsense. CEO: Please don't do that. Alice: Relax. I have a good feeling about it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, slapped ceo, report says, success is following your instinct, being passionate, engaged, creative, meaningful, office meeting, literal meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: This report says you slapped our CEO senseless after he said they key to success is following your instinct. Alice: I was following my instinct. I was also being passionate, engaged, and creative. Catbert: Apparently the things you say actually mean stuff. CEO: How was I to know!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cowardice, terrorists, international terrorist, cancel order, big hit earnings, decimate value, stock options, transfer, poor safety record

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I discovered that the customer for our fleet sale of commercial drones is an international terrorist. Now we have to cancel the order, take a big hit to earnings, and decimate the value of your stock options in the company. CEO: Or... I could transfer you to a department that has a poor safety record and hope for the best.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, executives, leadership, acceptable behavior, alight goals, company objectives, deal directly, conflict, maintain positive attitude, impressive

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Who's up for some leadership? Watch me define acceptable behavior, align your goals with company objectives, prioritize respect, deal directly with conflict, maintain a positive attitude, and pretend to care! Wally: That would be impressive. CEO: Settle down, Bilbo.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, obliviousness, million units, customers happy, our goals, their goals, this quarter

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our goal is to ship a million units this quarter. Dilbert: Do we have any goals that involve making customers happy? CEO: I'm talking about our goals, not their goals. Boss: Totally different.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business people, managers & supervisors, holacarcy, underlings, abusing for years, boot on neck, resistance to changes, business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm eliminating all management levels and making us a holacracy. Boss: Noooo!!! Please don't make me equal to the underlings I've been abusing for years! In my defense, I thought I would always have my boot on your neck. Dilbert: Shush.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, optimism, flattened management structure, uptick in fork attacks, insider trading, benefits, stock portfolio up, sciatica better, business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How's our new flattened management structure working out? Boss: I'm seeing an uptick in fork attacks and insider trading. CEO: Now tell me the benefits. Boss: My sciatica no longer hurts. And my stock portfolio is way up.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bodily fluids, buggy, ceo reputation, competitors, death, medical, misleading ads, not selling, overriced, owls, pal costume, product failure, product name, super yacht, vaguely racist

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to figure out why our new product isn't selling well. Dilbert: It's buggy and overpriced. Wally: OUr competitors sell a far better product at half the price. Asok: Our ads are overtly misleading and vaguely racist. Alice: Our product name reminds people of bodily fluids and death. People hate us because our CEO has an endangered owl shooting range on his super yacht. Boss: Does anyone have an idea to fix all of that? Wally: Maybe. Do you own an owl costume?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags injured ceo, rolex watches, steamer trunk, freak accident, helicopter, yacht, company ceo, time flys, having funds, intern, comments, company, employees, office gossip, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO was injured when a steamer trunk full of Rolex watches fell out of his luggage helicopter and landed on his yacht. Asok: They say time flies then you're having funds. Alice; Out intern is growing up so fast. Asok: The walk-off is what sells it!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags acting ceo, rolex accident, power crazed, obliterated human decency, abuse of power, furry friend

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The board wants you to be our acting CEO until our regular CEO recovers from his Rolex accident. Boss: Buwhahaha!!! The power has gone to my head and obliterated my last crumb of human decency! Catbert: You're creeping me out. Boss: I'm going to buff my shoes with you, my furry friend.