Catbert Comic Strips - Page 39
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655 Results for Catbert
View 381 - 390 results for Catbert comic strips. Discover the best "Catbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 01,
2008
Tags 300 iq, immortality drug, impossible requirements, job interview, nobel peace prize, time machine, too old, two centuires, unix
Transcript
Old Man;I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several nobel prizes, and two centuries of unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented. Catbert: That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"
Monday March 03,
2008
Tags borrow pen, company like family, culture, search computer, sign docuemnt, test for dugs, trust and respect, manipulate
Transcript
CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"
Tuesday March 04,
2008
Tags code monkey, dreams, evil director, less work, software simian, architect, engineering
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally: I'd like to change my job title to something with 'architect' in it. My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable. Catbert: The best I can do is 'code monkey. Wally: How about 'software simian'?"
Friday March 21,
2008
Tags dried up head, evil director, free stuff, hr, inquiry, trouble saying no
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Is there a company sponsored program for regrowing my lost soul? CatBert: No, but I'd be happy to bat your dried-up head until it snaps off. Dilbert: I have trouble saying no to free stuff."
Saturday March 22,
2008
Tags placebo, head, soul crushed, Catbert, slapped head, juice, berry juice
Transcript
Tina: I hear your soul was crushed and Catbert slapped off your dried-up head. Try this juice I've been selling on the side, it's made from actually berries. Spoit! Tina: Oh, crud. That was the placebo."
Saturday March 29,
2008
Tags predictable, sneezed, fighting predictability, predicts sneeze
Transcript
The Boss: Dilbert says I'm predictable. Am I predictable? Catbert: Gesundheit in advance. The Boss: Must...Control sneeze. Must...Not be...predictable." "Mroomph!" Catbert: Yesterday I drew a picture of what this would look like."
Tuesday April 08,
2008
Tags bad raise, boss, fired, managing expectations, heartless
Transcript
The Boss: You're fired! woman: Gaaa!!!" The Boss: Not really. But now this 2% raise won't seem so bad. This job is all about managing expectations."
Saturday April 12,
2008
Tags matt the temp, fully embrace, Catbert, temp concept, temp, find down cable
Transcript
Matt the temp The boss: Our parking lot flooded after the big storm. I need you to wade out there and find our downed power cables." He seems to fully embrace the temp concept. Fzeet!
Sunday May 25,
2008
Tags engineers, hauled away, human resources, questioning mental stability, sealed in concrete, wrapped in plastic, bodies hidden, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Go to human resources for a psychological evaluation." Dilbert says, "Why??? Have I said anything that is abnormal?" The Boss says, "You're an engineer. Everything you say is abnormal." Catbert says, "Question one: How many bodies are hidden in the crawl space under your house?" Dilbert says, "If they are hidden, how would I know?" Catbert says, "Well, maybe you would smell them." Dilbert says, "Not if they were wrapped in heavy plastic and sealed in concrete." Wally says, "How'd it go?" Dilbert says, "Not so good."
Thursday May 29,
2008
Tags evil director, human resources, evaluate job applicants, unqualified loser, nailing it, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: "I like to use role play to evaluate job applicants." Pretend you're an unqualified loser. Wow. You're totally nailing it."


