Crazy Talk Comic Strips - Page 39

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

439 Results for Crazy Talk

View 381 - 390 results for crazy talk comic strips. Discover the best "Crazy Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Pill For Boss Conversations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pill For Boss Conversations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mental health, mental illness, crazy, managers, sanity, insane

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Catbert thinks I'm causing mental problems in my employees. That's crazy, right? Carol: Hold that thought. My doctor prescribed pills for when I have to talk to you.

Dilbert Characters

Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My boss gave me approval to join your project team under the condition I don't take on any extra work. Woman: The whole point of being on the project is to do extra work. Maybe I should talk to your boss. Wally: His other condition is that you never contact him.

Employees Who Don't Want Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employees Who Don't Want Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, money, optimism, ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't want employees who are motivated by money. I want true believers who are trying to make the world a better place. Wally: Those people sound crazy. Dilbert: Can you warn us if you see one?

Asking Successful People For Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asking Successful People For Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags success, Advice, ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?

We Need To Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We Need To Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags contradiction, argument, disagreement

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The software upgrade will be ready by Friday. Dilbert: Actually, that's when we will start writing it. Boss: And it will save us twenty million dollars. Dilbert: Actually, it will cost a million dollars and save nothing. Boss: We need to talk. Dilbert: We do? I'm not feeling that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, arguing, accusation, social media, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Why did you say we don't have a budget for our project? Dilbert: I never said that. Man: Then why did you say the project isn't feasible? Dilbert: I never said anything like that. Man: But you did say you thought it would take ten years to finish? Dilbert: I've never said anything like that. Man: Hahaha! You're in total meltdown mode now. Dilbert: I already forgot what we were talking about. Boss: How was your talk with Dilbert? Man: He's backpedaling after I totally owned him.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, suggestion, listening, conclusions, misunderstanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Maybe you could remove a few slides to make your deck shorter. Man: So you're saying I should give up on trying to be persuasive? Dilbert: No, I"m saying it would be more persuasive if it were shorter. Man: So you're saying that having zero slides would be the most persuasive of all? Dilbert: No. I'm saying you have more slides than you need. Man: So you're saying people don't need accurate information as long as they don't have lots of slides? Dilbert:I'm not saying anything like that! Boss: Did Dilbert have any suggestions? Man: Just crazy ones.

Wife Starts A Business

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags entrepreneur, business, divorce, marriage, assumption, small business, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.

Wally Enjoys Listening To Himself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Enjoys Listening To Himself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Wally, talking, coffee, boring, moment

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I recently realized how much I enjoy listening to myself talk. The alternative involves listening to people who are boring and wrong about everything. Dilbert: That's not... Wally: Shhh! Don't ruin a perfect moment.

Dogbert's Pep Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Pep Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, virtual, forget, real, people, inadequate, talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm worried that if I spend too much time using virtual reality, I'll forget how to talk to real people. Dogbert: I doubt you could get more boring and inadequate than you already are.