Long Nose Comic Strips - Page 39
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434 Results for Long Nose
View 381 - 390 results for long nose comic strips. Discover the best "Long Nose" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 05,
2017
Immersive Vr Is Immortal
Tags virtual reality, vr, mortality, immortal, human, ai, artificial intelligence
Transcript
Narrator: Kevin, the immersive VR employee. Dilbert: I have to keep reminding myself that you don't really exist. Kevin: I have to keep reminding myself that your organic personality was long ago replaced with prescription medications. Dilbert: At least I'm real! Kevin: At least I'm immortal. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
Sunday July 09,
2017
Tags artificial intelligence, ai, robot, hope, dream, depression, meaning, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?
Thursday July 13,
2017
Home Speaker Prototype
Tags technology, robot, speaker, invention, sentience
Transcript
Boss: I need you to design a home speaker that can compete with Amazon Alexa and Google Home. How long before you'll have a prototype? Dilbert: Give me fifteen minutes. Robot: Would I be living with a human family in this scenario? Dilbert: Only your head.
Friday August 11,
2017
Wally Pretends To Work
Tags laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: If you need me, I'll be at my desk pretending to work. Alice: How long do you think you can get away with that? Wally: I wondered the same thing for the first fifteen years or so.
Saturday August 26,
2017
Product Warning Is Too Long
Tags technical writer, instructions, caution, warning, safety, criticism
Transcript
Tina: My boss, who knows nothing about technical writing, told me to cut my 700-page product warning down to 500 pages. He doesn't appreciate my art. Dilbert: Sounds like both of you are idiots. Tina: This will go smoother if you stop talking.
Friday October 27,
2017
Troll Has No Job
Tags troll, trolling, social media, twitter, tweet, time, technology
Transcript
Boss: This troll on twitter refuses to let me have the last word. What kind of job does this idiot have that he can do this all day long??? Give me a few minutes here. Wally: Take your time.
Wednesday November 08,
2017
Barry Dingle
Tags questioning, correct, incorrect, explanation, answer
Transcript
Boss: Sorry I'm late. Barry Dingle keeps hanging around my office and asking hard questions. Dilbert: You don't know the answer to any hard questions. Boss: That's why it takes so long. Dilbert: So... you just spout nonsense until he leaves? Boss: That's my go-to strategy for most situations.
Saturday January 13,
2018
Offensive Tweet From Long Ago
Tags comprehensive, offensive, poor reading, sense of humor, seven years, offensive tweet, twitter
Transcript
The Boss: we found awn offensive tweet you sent seven years ago. Dilbert: Its only offensive if you have poor reading comprehension and no sense of humor. The boss: I find it offensive. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page here/
Sunday January 28,
2018
Tags assignment, deadline, free time, death march, payment, salary, pay check, bonus, non caring, cold, heartless monster, no sense shame, money
Transcript
The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.
Wednesday March 14,
2018
Story Telling Mothman
Tags mothman, workload, responsibility, stress, story, talking
Transcript
Boss: I hired a storytelling mothman. He identifies with employees with the greatest workloads and wastes their time telling long stories. Dilbert: We don't need a storytelling mothman. Boss: Then why does every company have one?


