Made Up Words Comic Strips - Page 39
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441 Results for Made Up Words
View 381 - 390 results for made up words comic strips. Discover the best "Made Up Words" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 25,
2016
Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel
Tags #safety, #catch-22, #fatigue, #accident, #driving
Transcript
Dilbert: I fell asleep at the wheel because I stayed up all night to meet your deadline. I had to work all night because you made me attend a mandatory safety meeting yesterday. But at least I got my work done on time. Boss: I forgot to tell you the meeting got moved to next week.
Sunday December 25,
2016
Tags #jargon, #speech, #words, #nonsense, #training, #trainee, #strategy, #laziness
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.
Saturday January 21,
2017
Secret Red File
Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #con, #stalemate, #bluffing, #forgetful
Transcript
Boss: What did you accomplish this month? Wally: I made a lot of progress on the secret red file project that you gave me. Boss: Remind me what project that is. Wally: You made me promise I wouldn't tell you.
Friday February 24,
2017
Taking Pride In Work
Tags #motivation, #pep talk, #logic, #pride, #suffering, #work ethic
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I"m starting to think you don't take pride in your work. Wally: That would be like taking pride in being the victim of a crime. Catbert: How'd the pep talk go? Boss: He made some good points.
Friday March 17,
2017
Dilbert Loses His Budget
Tags #vacation, #decision, #funding, #money
Transcript
Boss: You were on vacation last week so I made decisions about your project without you. Dilbert: Oh no... what have you done? Boss: I transferred your budget to another project. Dilbert: I need that money! Boss: Oh. Can you wait until the other project manager goes on vacation?
Monday April 10,
2017
Asok Is In The Jargon Matrix
Tags #jargon, #language, #breakdown, #nonsense
Transcript
Carol: Come quickly. I think Asok entered the jargon matrix. Asok: At the end of the day, I want some actionable insights that will improve our cross-platform integration. Carol: Can he hear us? Dilbert: Yes, but our words are just noise to him now. Asok: Silo.
Wednesday April 12,
2017
Dilbert Red Pills Asok
Tags #jargon, #language, #nonsense, #productivity, #illusion, #alternate reality
Transcript
Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.
Monday June 12,
2017
Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo
Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #nervous, #anxious, #fear
Transcript
Asok: I'm nervous because I need to make a presentation to our CEO. Do you have any advice? Wally: Don't make eye contact with him. He hates that. Asok: You have made things far worse! Wally: He also flies into a rage when he hears the word "the."
Tuesday June 13,
2017
One Small Mistake Is Doom
Tags #nervous, #Advice, #fear, #anxiety, #public speaking, #presentation
Transcript
Asok: Do you have any advice for my presentation to the CEO? Dilbert: Sure. If you make one small mistake, your career will be finished. Asok: You just made me nervous and thus doubled my risk of failure. Dilbert: I'm not the one who brought it up.
Saturday June 17,
2017
Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation
Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO said he liked your presentation. Asok: He made me shut up and sit down before I got to my first slide. Boss: He's not a big fan of content.