Preventing From Working Comic Strips - Page 39

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

455 Results for Preventing From Working

View 381 - 390 results for preventing from working comic strips. Discover the best "Preventing From Working" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #deception, #invisibility, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your stealth clothing project coming along? Wally: Great. I'm usually testing the prototype in the office. That's why you rarely see me working. Boss: So... the less I see you work, the more successful you must be? Wally: It's just common sense.

Let's Do The Meeting Later

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Let's Do The Meeting Later - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fitbit, #health, #monitor, #wearable tech, #surveillance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to your employee health monitor, your lack of sleep last night is hampering your mental functions. Let's end the meeting and try again when your brain is working better. Man: I don't understand. Dilbert: That is consistent with the data.

Boring And Needy Children

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boring And Needy Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #parents, #mother, #interview, #children, #annoyance, #work-life balance, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.

Boiling An Ocean

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boiling An Ocean - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliment, #backhanded compliment, #insult, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I told our boss his presentation had a low signal-to-noise ratio and he thought it was a compliment. Wally: I think you just invented my new favorite game. Working for you is like boiling an ocean. Boss: Thank you!

Lying To Weasels

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lying To Weasels - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sayings, #Advice, #honesty, #truthfulness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I keep speaking truth to power, but it isn't working for me. Wally: Try lying to weasels. It doesn't look as good on a bumper sticker but it gets the job done. Dilbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Wally: Then why are you doing it right now?

Can't Remember Wally's Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can't Remember Wally's Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #language, #jargon, #obliviousness, #bluff, #managers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't remember what project you're working on. Wally: I'm integrating parallel platforms for load balancing across incremental networks. Boss: Keep doing that. I can never tell when I'm having a good day.

Elbonians Call Off The Hit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonians Call Off The Hit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #hit man, #murder, #torture

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Elbonia called off its plan to kill you for your culturally offensive sales video. They decided it was more cruel to keep you alive and working here. Dilbert: They're monsters! Boss: Get back in your cubicle.

Unmotivated Staff

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unmotivated Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #the boss, #wrong, #leadership, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: A few months ago, I realized my staff was unmotivated and working on all the wrong things. It took all of my leadership skills to get them motivated again. Catbert: Are they still doing the wrong things? The Boss: Faster than ever.

Candor Monster

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Candor Monster - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #carol, #radical candor, #therapy, #criticism, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My new system of using "radical candor," is working out great. I've been criticizing people all morning and only three of them went into therapy over it. Now I turn my candor to you. Carol: Die, monster!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #the boss, #bad, #technology, #day, #phone, #freezing, #printer, #working, #network, #warning, #lights, #christmas, #tree, #laptop, #boot, #coincidence, #permission, #lock, #lead-line, #box, #hero

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm having a bad technology day. My phone keeps freezing, my printer isn't working, and our network is down. Wally: My car's warning lights look like a Christmas tree, and my laptop won't boot up. Maybe its all just coincidence but I don't think we can take that chance. May I have permission to lock myself in a lead-lined box to protect the rest of the company? The Boss: How will I know you're really in a lead-lined box? Wally: YOu'll know because your phone will be working fine. The Boss: My phone is still working that man is a hero.