Same Policies Comic Strips - Page 39

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

387 Results for Same Policies

View 381 - 387 results for same policies comic strips. Discover the best "Same Policies" comics from Dilbert.com.

Manage With Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manage With Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analysis, #business, #data, #face maks, #leadership, #manage, #managers & supervisors, #paralysis, #technology, #useable

View Transcript

Transcript

boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.

Dilbert Is Sexist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Dilbert Is Sexist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #fire, #crazy, #gender, #true, #false, #anger, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i want you to fire dilbert because he said i might be nuts. he wouldn't say that to a man. boss: he said the same thing to me last week. tina yelling: it doesn't count if it's true!

Silencer In Facemask

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Silencer In Facemask - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bored, #business, #covid, #face mask, #hear, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #play, #silencer, #talk

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: i installed a silencer in our pointy-haired boss's face mask. now he's the only one who can hear himself talk, but he doesn't know it. here he comes. play along. boss has speech bubble with no words. boss's back is turned and has speech bubble with no words. wally: uh-huh. okay. thanks. and i can do the same thing to the face mask of anyone else who bores me. dilbert has speech bubble with no words. wally: uh-huh.

Jumping Out A Window

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Jumping Out A Window - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #boss, #listen, #repeat, #jump, #window, #bluff, #reiterate, #parachute

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: if i have to listen to you repeat that same point one more time, i'm going to jump out a window. boss: that sounds like a bluff. dilbert: i packed a parachute. boss: ...anyway, to reiterate... parachuter floating beside building.

Height Advantage

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Height Advantage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #employement, #fired, #height, #hiring, #managers & supervisors, #pay cut, #short, #tall, #video conferencing, #zoom

View Transcript

Transcript

boss video conferencing with carl: carl, i hired you because you are tall, but now it doesn't matter because everyone looks the same height on zoom. your height advantage has disappeared, so today will be your last day with the company. carl: maybe instead you could cut my pay to the same level as short people. boss: that just might work.

Talk To The Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answer, #bribe, #experts, #face mask, #faster, #managers & supervisors, #Opinion, #plan, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.

Refusing Customer Demands

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Refusing Customer Demands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #customer, #demands, #face mask, #fault, #Lose, #managers & supervisors, #refuse, #sarcasm, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: as you instructed, i refused to give in to our biggest customer's demands and they canceled all of their orders. boss: i didn't tell you to do that, you fool! dilbert: you told me to do exactly that. boss: i never told you to lose our biggest customer! dilbert: you told me to refuse their demands. boss: but i didn't tell you to lose the customer! dilbert yelling: it's the same thing!!! boss: the important thing here is that it's your fault. Dilbert yelling: i get it!!!