Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 39

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1000 Results for Avoid Work

View 381 - 390 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Complexity Is A Good Thing For Wally

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Complexity Is A Good Thing For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, inventions, scapegoat, excuse, laziness, work ethic

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Wally: People say the complexity of modern life is a bad thing. But for useless people such as me, it creates endless opportunities. Boss: Why aren't you done yet? Wally: My smartwatch was infected with ransomware.

Entitled Employee Buys A Car

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Entitled Employee Buys A Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags entitled, entitlement, millennials, work ethic, lazy, consumerism

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The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.

The Entitled Employee

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The Entitled Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags millennials, entitlement, entitiled, lazy, work ethic

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The Entitled Employee. Dilbert: Did you finish your assignment for the project? Coworker: No, I was tired, and it looked hard. I assume someone does the hard stuff for me. Am I wrong? Dilbert: I need to have a word with your parents.

People Are Terrible

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People Are Terrible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hate, human error, interpersonal, introvert, misanthropy, people, antisocial

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Boss: What's the biggest risk with your plan? Dilbert: It's people. They're terrible once you get to know them. Boss: Then don't get to know them. Dilbert: I tried that with you and it didn't work.

Your Idea Has Been Tried

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Your Idea Has Been Tried - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, trying, trial and error, criticism

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Boss: Ideas like yours have been tried in the past and always failed! Dilbert: Have you ever been on an airplane? Those didn't work on the first few tries either. And then we have the entire history of science. Boss: Stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags time, freedom, free will, schedule, work load, stress, free time, breaks, lunch

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Boss: Schedule your training during your lunch hours so it doesn't impact your projects. Dilbert: But... my lunch hour is the only freedom I experience in a typical day. The rest of my time is either scheduled to the minute or driven by whatever crisis is happening. Please don't take my lunch hour and reduce me to nothing but a prisoner in a digital chain gang. I'm barely clinging to my illusion of free will as it is. This could push me over the edge. If you take away my one hour of freedom in the day, I might as well be a robot. Boss: Relax. This is temporary. Dilbert: For how long? Boss: Until I can replace you with a robot.

Intuitive Not Worthless

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Intuitive Not Worthless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, obliviousness, jobs, knowledge, understanding

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Boss: I'm not an engineer, so I don't know if you're doing the right things or not. And I can't watch you work, so I don't know if you're putting in any effort. Dilbert: That means you're totally worthless. Boss: I was going to say intuitive.

Don't Read Long Emails

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Don't Read Long Emails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, tldr, communication, assumption, honesty

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Man: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I don't read long email messages. Long emails are a sign of a disorganized mind. I try to avoid contact with that sort of person. Man: And yet, here I am. Dilbert: I didn't say it works every time.

What The Family Would Think

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What The Family Would Think - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, interview, lying, deception, commitment, honesty, guest artist, donna oatney

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Man: If you hire me, I will dedicate 100 percent of my energy to making this company succeed! Dilbert: What would your family think if they heard that? Man: They'd understand. They're all huge liars, too.

Bring Me Solutions

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Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, managers, useless, double standard, guest artist, donna oatney

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Boss: Don't bring me problems. Bring me solutions! Dilbert: That would make you more useless than you already are. Boss: I also need you to fill out your own performance evaluation.