Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 39
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 381 - 390 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday May 12,
2016
Complexity Is A Good Thing For Wally
Tags technology, inventions, scapegoat, excuse, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: People say the complexity of modern life is a bad thing. But for useless people such as me, it creates endless opportunities. Boss: Why aren't you done yet? Wally: My smartwatch was infected with ransomware.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday May 07,
2016
Entitled Employee Buys A Car
Tags entitled, entitlement, millennials, work ethic, lazy, consumerism
Transcript
The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.
Friday May 06,
2016
The Entitled Employee
Tags millennials, entitlement, entitiled, lazy, work ethic
Transcript
The Entitled Employee. Dilbert: Did you finish your assignment for the project? Coworker: No, I was tired, and it looked hard. I assume someone does the hard stuff for me. Am I wrong? Dilbert: I need to have a word with your parents.
Friday April 29,
2016
People Are Terrible
Tags hate, human error, interpersonal, introvert, misanthropy, people, antisocial
Transcript
Boss: What's the biggest risk with your plan? Dilbert: It's people. They're terrible once you get to know them. Boss: Then don't get to know them. Dilbert: I tried that with you and it didn't work.
Tuesday April 26,
2016
Your Idea Has Been Tried
Tags failure, trying, trial and error, criticism
Transcript
Boss: Ideas like yours have been tried in the past and always failed! Dilbert: Have you ever been on an airplane? Those didn't work on the first few tries either. And then we have the entire history of science. Boss: Stop. You're embarrassing yourself.
Sunday April 24,
2016
Tags time, freedom, free will, schedule, work load, stress, free time, breaks, lunch
Transcript
Boss: Schedule your training during your lunch hours so it doesn't impact your projects. Dilbert: But... my lunch hour is the only freedom I experience in a typical day. The rest of my time is either scheduled to the minute or driven by whatever crisis is happening. Please don't take my lunch hour and reduce me to nothing but a prisoner in a digital chain gang. I'm barely clinging to my illusion of free will as it is. This could push me over the edge. If you take away my one hour of freedom in the day, I might as well be a robot. Boss: Relax. This is temporary. Dilbert: For how long? Boss: Until I can replace you with a robot.
Friday April 15,
2016
Intuitive Not Worthless
Tags managers, obliviousness, jobs, knowledge, understanding
Transcript
Boss: I'm not an engineer, so I don't know if you're doing the right things or not. And I can't watch you work, so I don't know if you're putting in any effort. Dilbert: That means you're totally worthless. Boss: I was going to say intuitive.
Wednesday April 13,
2016
Don't Read Long Emails
Tags email, tldr, communication, assumption, honesty
Transcript
Man: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I don't read long email messages. Long emails are a sign of a disorganized mind. I try to avoid contact with that sort of person. Man: And yet, here I am. Dilbert: I didn't say it works every time.
Thursday March 31,
2016
What The Family Would Think
Tags work ethic, interview, lying, deception, commitment, honesty, guest artist, donna oatney
Transcript
Man: If you hire me, I will dedicate 100 percent of my energy to making this company succeed! Dilbert: What would your family think if they heard that? Man: They'd understand. They're all huge liars, too.
Wednesday March 30,
2016
Bring Me Solutions
Tags laziness, work ethic, managers, useless, double standard, guest artist, donna oatney
Transcript
Boss: Don't bring me problems. Bring me solutions! Dilbert: That would make you more useless than you already are. Boss: I also need you to fill out your own performance evaluation.

