Employees Comic Strips - Page 39
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Character
581 Results for Employees
View 381 - 390 results for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 18,
2000
Tags dozen, dysfunctional families, dysfunctional recruitment, recruit emloyees, trunk
Transcript
Dogbert is standing on the boss's desk. Dogbert says to the boss, "You need 'Dogbert's Dysfunctional Employee Recruitment Services.'" Dogbert continues, "I only recruit employees who were raised in dysfunctional families. They don't mind being mistreated!" The boss says, "How soon can you get me some?" Dogbert says, "I have a dozen in the trunk of my car."
Monday October 02,
2000
Tags evil director, union work, employees moving company computer, old evil, pdas, laptops, cut of giblets, union steward stuart
Transcript
Catbert is behind a desk talking to the union steward. Catbert says, "What new evil do you bring me, Union Steward Stuart?" The union steward says, "Employees should not be allowed to move company computers. That's union work." Catbert says, "That's old evil." Stuart says, "It's new if we include PDAs and laptops." Catbert says, "I like the cut of your giblets."
Friday September 29,
2000
Tags huge demand, laugh at yourself, employes
Transcript
The Boss puts his hand on Ted's back and says, "Ted, there's a huege demand for employees like you." The Boss continues, "Not you specifically...which is funny if you think about it." The Boss calls after him as he walks away, "Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"
Tuesday September 26,
2000
Tags bought cisco, cardboard box, dogcart consults, entrepreneurial, misdialed bookie, revive spirt
Transcript
The caption reads: "Dogbert consults." Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "You can revive the entrepreneurial spirit here by reminding people of the early years." Dogbert points to a picture of two homeless people. He says, "Your founders were two men who began in a cardboard box." Dogbert stands in front of the room of employees and says, "One bum midialed his bookie and accidently bought Cisco stock at the IPO."
Saturday September 02,
2000
Tags kicking me, least valuables, manager, most valuable emplyees, turnover, increase turnover
Transcript
The Boss says to the staff, "As a manager, it's my job to reduce the turnover of our most valuable employees..." The Boss continues, "...and to increase turnover of our least valuable employees." Wally screams, "Ow! For the jillionth time, who keeps kicking me?!"
Tuesday August 22,
2000
Tags employees, funerals, evil dierctor, heating costs, too high, company furnace, cremated, business
Transcript
Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "Employees waste too much time at funerals." Catbert continues, "On a related note, our heating costs are too high." Later at home, Dilert's mother says to Dilbert, "As a matter of fact, I would mind being cremated in the company furnace."
Thursday August 10,
2000
Tags billion dollar business plan, sec investigates, securities fraud, hancuffed, employees singing
Transcript
The Boss approaches Carol's desk and asks, "Have you finished my billion dollar business plan yet?" Carol answers, "Almost." Carol continues, "I'm up to the part where the S.E.C. investigates you for securities fraud." Carol says to the Boss, "I can't decide what the employees will be singing when you get handcuffed."
Wednesday August 09,
2000
Tags poach employees, leave comapny, wink wink, moron
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm not allowed to poach employees if I leave this company." The Boss continues as he winks at Dilbert, "But there's no law against you asking me for a job...wink...wink." The Boss begins yelling, "I'm not going to wink all day you moron!"
Sunday August 06,
2000
Tags video cameras installed, id badges, internet, phone use monitored, drug testing, hot irons, brand awareness, branding, employees, business, technology
Transcript
Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "Video cameras have been installed in all work areas." Catbert holds up a badge and says, "Employees must wear I.D. badges around their neck." Catbert continues, "Your internet and telephone usage will be monitored." Catbert continues, "Everyone will undergo mandatory drug testing." Catbert thinks to himself, "They're not resisting. They're ready for phase two." Catbert says, "Prepare to be permanently marked by hot ironos." The Boss asks Catbert, "Will that hurt?" Catbert answers, "I'll be fine. Thanks for asking." Everyone holds Wally down on the table as Catbert announces, "Wally is about to experience brand awareness."
Thursday June 29,
2000
Tags any errand, date women, film, movies, ratbert, thinks wally is hot, Entertainment
Transcript
Ratbert the Concierge Wally: Id like a date with a woman who thinks Im hot. Remember, you promised you would do any errand for employees. Tell me again how hot I am.

