How To Comic Strips - Page 39
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1000 Results for How To
View 381 - 390 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 04,
2016
Business Plan History
Tags business plan, futile, futility, goal, guest artist, logic, plan, john glynn
Transcript
Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday February 29,
2016
Asok Has Tasted The Sweet Freedom Of Uber
Tags experience, guest artist, introspection, john glynn, wisdom
Transcript
Asok: Now that I have tasted the sweet freedom of being an Uber driver, how can I go back to this life? Wally: Try looking deep within yourself, Asok. Asok: You are even wiser than usual. Wally: You'll need a flashlight and yoga lessons.
Friday February 12,
2016
The Root Cause Of Bad Posture
Tags posture, health, work ethic, laziness, back pain
Transcript
Dilbert: How do you keep your posture so straight? Wally: It's easy. You have to understand the root cause of your poor posture before you can eliminate it. Dilbert: Bad ergonomics? Wally: Work.
Thursday February 11,
2016
Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`
Tags posture, mascot, success, hunchback, work ethic, reward
Transcript
CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.
Sunday February 07,
2016
Tags demands, bosses, unrealistic, frustration, outburst, catch-22, travel, air travel
Transcript
Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.
Saturday January 16,
2016
Unexpected Things Happen
Monday January 11,
2016
How Work Is Going
Tags work, existence, happiness, fulfillment, frustration, job, business, psychology
Transcript
Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.
Sunday January 03,
2016
Tags meeting, complaining, problems, salutation, sincerity, insincere, questioning, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Thanks for meeting me on short notice. How are you? Coworker: Well, actually, someone stole my identity and ruined my credit score. I couldn't refinance my loan and lost my house. So I ate myself into poor health. I stopped shaving for a month and ended up on the terrorist watchlist. My boss hates me and is trying to make me quit by giving me bad assignments. My car broke down and I haven't been hugged in a year. Dilbert: Okay, let's get started. Coworker: That's all the time I had.
Sunday December 27,
2015
Tags sales personnel, salesman, sales, honesty, deception, stragegy, sociopath, lying, lie, business
Transcript
Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.
Friday December 25,
2015
Improving Your Reputation At Work
Tags insult, power, socialization, social skills, Advice
Transcript
Asok: How can I improve my reputation at work? Wally: The easiest way is to make your co-workers look worse. Asok: Wouldn't they notice? Wally: You didn't.

