Inability To Plan Comic Strips - Page 39

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

525 Results for Inability To Plan

View 381 - 390 results for inability to plan comic strips. Discover the best "Inability To Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vital records protection plan, #extensive interviews, #key stakeholders, #digitized, #records, #encryotion, #natural magnets, #project team status report, #liars

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert are at a conference table. The boss says, "Wally, what's the status of our vital records protection plan?"` Wally thinks, "Think fast." Wally says, "I..uh...did extensive interviews with key stakeholders." Wally continues, "Then I..uh...formed a plan.." Wally says, "Now all the records are digitized and stored with 512 bit encryption..." Wally continues, "..At the center of the earth..on natural magnets." The boss says, "I meant you should read the project team's status report." Wally, reading, says, "They claim to have a plan. Liars."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #show plan, #budget, #resources, #weakness

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk and Dilbert says, "I'm sure your boss will increase the budget if you show him my plan." The Boss throws up his arms and says, "I just asked him for something else. I can't keep asking him for resources!" Dilbert asks, "So...you think that doing your job is a sign of weakness?" The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "Look what it did to you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #replaced computers, #training class, #ignored requests, #sit unused, #slow way, #computer manual, #no time, #class, #coat, #invest, #plan future

View Transcript

Transcript

Girl: So they replaced our computers and never trained us. I told them we needed a training class but they ignored my requests. So our computers sit there unused while we do our work the slow way. Dilbert: why don't you real the computer manual? Girl: I don't have time for that! Dilbert: But you have time for a class? It doesn't add up. Girl: Im cold. Dilbert: You should try wearing a coat. they're terrific.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disaster recovery plan, #help! help!, #hope to have budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Our disaster recovery plan goes something like this..." Alice points to a picture of a man screaming "Help! Help!" Alice continues, "Someday we hope to have a budget."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hire another engineer, #last minute, #cost saving s awards, #plan to hire, #work twice as hard

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I had planned to hire another engineer." The Boss continues, "At the last minute I rememered I could just make you work twice as hard." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Maybe you could nominate me for one of those cost saving awards."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #billion dollar business plan, #sec investigates, #securities fraud, #hancuffed, #employees singing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Carol's desk and asks, "Have you finished my billion dollar business plan yet?" Carol answers, "Almost." Carol continues, "I'm up to the part where the S.E.C. investigates you for securities fraud." Carol says to the Boss, "I can't decide what the employees will be singing when you get handcuffed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet start up, #business plan, #vc and b and b

View Transcript

Transcript

Sitting at his desk, the Boss thinks to himself, "I should create my own little internet start-up." The Boss continues thinking, "All I need is a business plan." As the Boss approaches Carol's desk, Carol replies "The V.C. are sick of B to B." The Boss thinks to himself, "The Vietcong are sick of breakfast in bed?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #Men, #automatic registartion, #product, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to the Boss, "I plan to spend the next year adding automatic registration to our product." Dilbert says to Wally, "It already has that feature." Both the Boss and Wally turn to look at Dilbert. Dilbert replies, "Oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company identified, #deadly falling satelites, #investigative reporter, #plan worked, #falling satellites, #hit target, #boss thought plnned

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at home watching the evening news on television. "Our investigtive reporter has identified the company behind the deadly falling satellites." The television sounds: "Whump!" The next day at the office, the Boss says to Dilbert "Your plan worked." Dilbert replies, "What plan?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #impractical plan, #philosophy, #hard, #worth doing, #walk around, #hop on one foot, #reasoning capabilities

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the Boss, "This plan is impractical." The Boss says to Dilbert, "My philosophy is that if it isn't hard, it isn't worth doing." Dilbert responds, "That's easy to say." Dilbert continues, "So according to your philosophy, you shouldn't have said it." Dilbert then says to the Boss, "And it's easy to walk around. Maybe you should hop on one foot." Dilbert continues, "Or would it be better to recant your absurd philosophy..." Dilbert says to the Boss, "And bow before superior reasoning capabilities?" The Boss leaves Dilbert hopping one one foot.